Stuck
by Lizzie05
Summary: Susie is bored with her ordinary life. Could she find the long awaited Mr Right in Joe Lucas as they enter the witness protection program together? JONAS/JONAS LA fic. Not Joe/Stella pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi! This is a translated version of my Finnish story called Jumissa. I'm translating it on my own so I'm sorry for all of the spelling errors. I'm a big supporter of Joella, but it just didn't work for this story. But if you want to read about Joe ant the lovely Stella, please check out my story Lovesick. You can find it in my profile. In the meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this story.**

**By the way, I own just my crazy ideas.**

I was walking to work on an ordinary Monday. My life was ordinary in every way. I had an ordinary home, an ordinary degree in literature and an ordinary boyfriend. I was sure my life would go as ordinary as it possibly could. I would get married, have children and be ordinary happy. But somehow I wasn't happy with my ordinary life. My ordinary boyfriend didn't feel like The One and I wasn't sure if I wanted to have his children. Somehow I had gotten stuck in my ordinary life.

It was a beautiful afternoon and I had an evening shift at the local K-Mart where I worked. The distance between my home and the store was under a mile so I always walked. I was just about to enter the store when someone grabbed my arm. I turned around to see who it was.

- Jamie, what are you doing here? I asked my boyfriend who usually didn't come to see me at work. We had been going out for a year.

- Babe, this isn't really working. Let's call it quits, he said and left without another word. I was left to stand in front of the store with tears in my eyes. How did the bastard have the nerve to come to the place I worked to dumb me?

I pulled myself together, wiped the tears to my sleeve and walked in. I changed into my uniform and walked into the store area. I would have to keep the smile up no matter how broken I was inside. I went to clean the shelves and beside me came Mandy Banks. We had become friends through work and nowadays we were best friends. As a matter of fact, she was my only friend.

- Susie, what's wrong? Mandy asked. She always knew that something was up even though I didn't say a word.

- Jamie left me, I said and I couldn't keep the tears from falling.

- The pig! I told you you're way too good for him, Mandy said and I noticed another employee, Nina Lee, pass us. She had had a one night stand with Jamie before I started going out with him and I always felt that she was jealous although she played nice. I decided to ignore her if she came to say something.

- Yeah. Maybe it was better this way. My heart was in pieces but I rather broke up with him now than in ten years when we were married and had children. There was less damage this way.

The day went fast although it was as boring as ever. I agreed to walk home with Mandy after we closed. We only got to the parking lot when Jamie walked to us. He was drunk.

- Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Please take me back, Jamie slurred.

- You bastard! You promised we would be together now instead of sneaking behind her back! someone suddenly yelled behind us and Nina ran beside us. She had a gun. There was a shot and the next thing I know Jamie was lying in front of us on the ground. Nina took her phone out of her pocket and I crashed down to the ground. I noticed that Mandy was looking for pulse and I heard Nina cry to the phone something about shotting her boyfriend. I had to close my eyes to prevent me from fainting. I didn't open them until I heard the sirens. Two policemen came out of the car and walked to us. Another car curved to the parking lot. The crime scene investigators were in it.

- She did it, Mandy suddenly said.

- What? No, I didn't? Where did Nina go? I asked and turned to look at the woman I had thought as my friend.

- There was no one else, Mandy said and I felt one of the policemen handcuff me. The other was telling me my rights. I decided to be silent until I would get a lawyer. The policemen took me to the car and the other came to sit beside me to the backseat. I noticed that Mandy sat on the front seat.

The drive was long, way too long. It was only about two miles to the police station. I fell asleep in the car and didn't wake up until the car finally stopped and Mandy came to open my door. She helped me out of the car.

- Thanks boys! I can handle the rest myself, she said and slammed the car door shut. It was dark outside so I had no idea where we were.

We walked in through double glass doors that reflected our images. My long strawberry blond hair were a mess and my make-up was all over my face. I had a little blood on my cheek. I looked horrible. Mandy, on the other hand, looked different. She had a new jacket with a badge on the front.

- Are you a cop? I asked her. She looked at me smiling.

- A detective, actually. I've been undercover in K-Mart. I've tried to catch Nina Lee more than twice but she always gets away. This wasn't the first murder on her record, Mandy told me calmly.

- I trusted you. I thought you were my friend, I said furious.

- I am your friend. That's why I brought you here, she said and lead me to a big front hall, tht had been painted with cheerful colours.

- What is this place? I asked confused.

- Welcome to witness protection program Susie, Mandy smiled and unlocked my handcuffs.

- What? I'm not going to jail? I smiled back at her.

- Of course not. You're innocent, Mandy smiled. She took me to a large bathroom where I could wash up. It took me more time to get clean than normally because I tried to scrub all of Jamie's blood off.

I was sad that our relationship had ended and that he was dead but at the same time very angry because he had been cheating me the whole time with Nina. When I was done, I wrapped a towel around me and walked out of the bathroom.

Mandy was waiting for me at the door. At the same time I walked out of the door, a young man was lead to the hall. Black and little curly hair framed a handsome face. Our eyes met and I noticed that I could drown in his brown eyes. I, however, turned my eyes to look at the dozen of girls who were running after him. He wasn't so wonderful that I would have followed him like a headless chicken.

- Who was that? I asked Mandy when she guided me somewhere.

- Our newest celebrity, Mandy just huffed. I remembered clearly that Mandy didn't really like celebrities. I didn't recognise him and it bothered me a little but I decided to drop it.

Mandy took me a to a hairdresser and to styling. My hair was turned into deep chocolate brown and my freckles were hidden with a spray tan. I used to wear a lot of make up but now it was very light. And they changed the way I dressed to kind of hippie. I looked pretty nice although I did like my old hair better.

- From now on your name is Natalie Smith, Mandy smiled and took me into a some kind of office. There was already sitting a young man who had short hair coloured like a carrot and he was holding a baby. Mandy went to sit on the other side of the table and I sat beside the man and the baby. I looked at the man's eyes and realize it was the same man I had seen on the hall earlier.

- Hi, I'm Joe. I mean, Matthew. And this is Henry, the man said and handed me the baby. The baby couldn't be older than six months. He had reddish hair and freckles but the same brown eyes than Joe, I mean Matthew. I would go insane with these names. The baby looked like he was mine and Joe's, I mean Matthew's.

- I'm Natalie, I smiled and rocked the baby back and forth in a calming way.

- The thing is that you've all been brought here for a reason. From now on you'll pretend to be a family. You are Matthew and Natalie Smith and you've been married for two years. You had Henry five months ago and decided it was time to move to a more family-friend place. Matthew works from home and Natalie is a stay-at-home-mom. Everything else you can figure out together. You'll get everything you need on the flight to your destination, Mandy told us in a calm voice.

- I get it that we can go just like that. But what about Henry? Doesn't he have parents, who miss him, somewhere? I asked looking at the most adorable baby I had ever seen.

- Unfortunately not. Henry was brought here when his parents were murdered. Of course he can't be a witness but he has to be safe, Mandy told us.

- Oh, you poor thing, I sighed and felt Joe, I mean Matthew, take my hand in his. It was warm and his skin was soft. I looked at him and he was watching the baby. I felt I was already attaching to the baby. And attaching to Matthew wouldn't be that hard either. He was pretty easy on the eye. I decided that I wouldn't think about Joe as Joe as long as we would be gone. As long as I would be Natalie, he would be Matthew.

- Come with me. We'll take a few family photos and a wedding picture of you two and then we'll go to the airport, Mandy said and guided us through the door. Matthew's hand let go of my own and moved to my back. I held Henry gently in my arms and noticed he had fallen asleep.

I'm sure we took photos in at least fifty different scenarios. First we took photos of me and Matthew before we had had Henry, then some when I was pregnant (I had to wear a plastic belly) and the pictures with Henry.

But the last pictures we took were in a staged wedding. I was wearing a long white dress with wide and long seathrough sleeves and my long hair had been curled to waves. On my head was a wreath of white flowers. I walked with bare feet to the white sand that had been piled in front on the "altar". Matthew was already standing there barefeet wearing white linen pants and a white shortsleeved shirt with it's three upper buttons left open. He looked handsome although it was hard to get used to his hair when I had seen him with his original hair. Matthew took both of my hands in his own and I heard the camera click.

- You look beautiful, he whispered to my ear and I felt myself blush. He pressed a kiss to my cheek and straightened his back. I hadn't noticed before that there was a woman dressed as a minister in front of us who was smiling. We were told just to smile and hold hands. After that we took some pictures without the minister. We were asked to kiss in one picture and Matthew pressed his soft lips on mine gently. The kiss didn't go any further because he pulled away.

- Okay, go change back into your original clothes. All of the clothes worn in the photos will be sent to you with the moving boxes, Mandy said when she came into the room smiling. Henry was sleeping in his bassinet so I went to change back into my multi-coloured tunic and hot pink leggings. On my head I changed a hot pink hairband that went across my forehead.

When I was ready, I went to see Henry. Matthew had lifted the bassinet to his arms and Henry was still sleeping. When Matthew noticed me, he reached his other hand to me. I took his hand because we were suppose to be a couple in love so the hand holding would be small compared to what people thought we would be doing.

- Are you ready, Mrs Smith? Matthew asked me.

- I guess I can't get more ready, I sighed and felt Matthew squeeze my hand.

**A/N: Please leave me some love :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi! This is a translated version of my Finnish story called Jumissa. I'm translating it on my own so I'm sorry for all of the spelling errors. I'm a big supporter of Joella, but it just didn't work for this story. But if you want to read about Joe and the lovely Stella, please check out my story Lovesick. You can find it in my profile. Please remember that Joe is going as Matthew and Susie as Natalie in this story. In the meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this story.**

**By the way, I own just my crazy ideas.**

The next morning I woke up from a private plane's bed. I had slept pretty well considering that I had been forced to leave my old life behind. I dressed into my clothes from yesterday, combed my hair with my fingers and put a fresh mint into my mouth. Then I walked into the seat department of the plane. Matthew was sitting there in yesterday's clothes looking like he hadn't gotten any sleep.

- Good morning sleepyhead, he smiled at me. I siled back quietly. Henry was sleeping in his bassinet again.

- How long did I sleep? I asked and sat opposite to Matthew.

- Almost ten hours, he yawned. I had been out for a long time. How far were we flying to?

- Have you gotten any sleep? I asked him and took a croissant from the table. I started to nip at it.

- Not really. I've been napping while Henry has been sleeping. And that hasn't been much. I think he has colic, Matthew yawned again.

- How do you know what that is? I asked surprised.

- I'm not stupid even though I might look that way, Matthew laughed and I smiled a little too.

- Go to sleep. I'll look after Henry, I said to him as I reached for an orange juice carton from the table. matthew reached for it at the same time and our fingers touched. The touch felt wonderful. I wish he would hold my hand, I heard yself thinking. I was in a plane with a strange man going to a strange place and all I could think about was touching him. Should I be worried? Matthew took the carton and handed it to me as I withdrew my fingers.

- Thanks but we are almost there so I think I'll just sleep later. I'm used to being up so I'll be fine, Matthew yawned again.

-Okay, I just smiled and finished my breakfast.

We had gotten our wedding rings and other important things, like wallets and phones, in the plane. The phones were not allowed to be used to phoning anyone from the past life. My engagement was beautiful. It was silver and it had a small pink stone. The wedding ring was just a silver band. I wouldn't have chosen these myself but I still liked them. They were much like the new me. Matthew had just one silver ring. There was a engraving on both of our rings saying "Natalie and Matthew 07.07.07".

My purse was a big white bag with a long strap. We had been both given credit cards and the bill was paid by someone else. All of our other bills were also paid for us. We were tol that there would be bills coing to our mail box but they would all be paper trash. We could throw them away after opening them. The pilot told us we were landing and Matthew checked that Henry's bassinet was belted right. Then he, much to my surprise, fastened my seat belt and then his own.

When we got out of the plane, Henry woke up. I took him to my arms and he smiled. Matthew put his arm around me and took henry's bassinet to the other.

- Where are we? I asked aloud as I looked at the place we were standing at. The weather was pretty cold and it was just the airort around us and a few trees I could see.

- I have no idea, Matthew replied. We walked into a taxi that was waiting for us. I put Henry to his bassinet and Matthew fastened the seatbelt around it. I climbed to sit beside Henry's bassinet and Matthew took the front seat. After driving a little, there were houses.

- Oh Henry, there's snow! I squeeled like a little child. I heard Matthew chuckle. I had never seen real snow. There wasn't much of it. It was only the early stages of winter.

- Were here, the taxi driver said as the car stopped in front of a two-story house. The house was beautiful. It had a big yard and a two-car-carage.

I stepped outside and walke to the other side of the car to take out Henry's bassinet. Matthew took three suitcase out of the trunk. We were clearly underdressed for this weather because I felt cold just standing beside the taxi. There were keys in my bag so I put down the bassinet, that held a screaming Henry, just to take my keys and opened the door. I put the keys back to my bag, lifted the bassinet t my arms and walked in. Matthew came behind me and closed the door.

I took Henry to my arms and wrapped a blanket from the bassinet around him. The screaming stopped as soon as he got warm. I kissed Henry's forehead and walked around the down floor shushing him. The floor held a small bathroom, a combination of kitchen, dining room and living room, a housekeeping room and a front hall.

- The moving truck should be here today, Matthew said as I walked back to the livingroom.

- I hope so because we don't have any furniture. Would you see the suitcases if there's any warmer clothes to us? I asked Matthew as I went to the bathroom to change Henry's diaper. It was alost dry so I guess Matthew had known how to do that also. When we came back, there were two combinations of clothes on the floor –one for Matthew and one for Henry.

- I thought you might want to choose your own clothes, Matthew said and took Henry from my arms. I noticed he had a little pink on his cheeks. I walked to my suitcase and opened it. The fist thing I saw was some silk underwear. No wonder Matthew had been blushing.

I took a hot pink padded vest, turquoise poloneck knitshirt, white skinny jeans and hot pink socks and beige UGG-boots. I wondered if Natalie owned anything black because Susie didn't wear much other colours than black. I walked into the bathroom to change my clothes and when I came back, the boys were ready.

- Aren't you all fancy! I smiled at Henry who was on Matthew's arms. Henry was wearing lime green pants that had some padding on them, and a white lightly padded jacket with a yellow beanie with a tassel. Apparently the whole family was going to be dressing colourful.

- And look at these shoes! I didn't even know they made Chuck Taylor's for kids, Matthew chuckled. The shoes were yellow with fur inside them.

- Pretty nice, I smiled at Henry and kissed his nose. Matthew was wearing loose light jeans and white lightly padded jacket and the same yellow shoes as Henry.

- Shall we go? Matthew said and we walked to the door together. I took my bag and we stepped outside. I locked the door and we started to walk to the road.

- We don't even have a baby carriage, I sighed as we walked.

- It's okay. I can carry him. He's as heavy as a carton of milk, Matthew laughed and I had to laugh with him. His laughter was like music to my ears. I took a hold of Matthew's arm as we walked along the road. There was a friendly looking woman approaching from one of the yards.

- Where did we move from? I quickly whispered to Matthew's ear.

- Texas, he whispered back to me and kissed y cheek briefly. My cheek felt like it was on fire.

- Hey, you must be the new family moving in to the end of the road? the blond woman asked cheerfully. She was wearing nothing but a long silk dressing gown. I think she was just getting the paper or taking the trash.

- In the flesh. Matthew Smith, Matthew introduced him self to our new neighbour.

- Oh, I'm Nancy Campbell, the woman replied and shook hands with Matthew. I wanted to punch her for lashed her fake eyelashes so hard they almost fell off. She was talking to someone else's husband after all.

- And this is my beautiful wife Natalie and our son Henry, Matthew introduced us and Nancy shook hands with me too. Her face nails almost made a cut to my hand.

- Nice to meet you, I smiled friendly. I didn't want to be rude to the first neihbour that came to greet us.

- Where did you move from? Nancy asked me.

- Texas, I smiled. I had never been to Texas but no one knew that here.

- From so far? Nancy asked surprised.

- We started to think about moving when Natalie got pregnant with Henry. I can do my job anywhere and Natalie loves snow so what would be a better place than this? Matthew told Nancy.

- He's just like a doll. So beautiful. And looks just like you, Nancy said to Matthew as she was watching Henry.

- I think he looks more like his mom, Matthew smiled and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips against my skin.

- You have to come to have dinner with us next week, nancy chatted but when I opened my eyes, my attention stole a big truck and two new Toyota Prius- hybrid cars.

- Honey, the moving truck is here, I chirped to Matthew and his head turned to my direction immediately and eyes looked at my mouth just to make sure the word "honey" had come out of my mouth.

- Thank you for the invite, Nancy. We'll have to get back to you when we have unloaded all of our stuff, Matthew smiled friendly to Nancy.

- There's plenty of time, Nancy yelled after us as we started to walk back to our house.

The men from a moving company had already started to unpack the truck. They apparently had their own key because I had locked the door on our way out. The cars were already in the carage.

- I love these! I squeeled as I saw a lime green baby carriage waiting for us on the porch.

- Pretty flashy, Matthew breathed.

- What here isn't? I asked and he just laughed. I took Henry from him and went to look some baby food. Now that we had a microwave, I could heat something. I put a jar of baby food in to heat up and rocked Henry in my arms.

I noticed that Matthew had taken off his jacket and was helping with the unloading. He was wearing a white t-shirt that revealed his biceps. Wow! There were no other words to describe them. I could have stared at him for ages but I woke up from my trance when the microwave beeped.

I took the food from there and started to feed Henry. He had been eating solidfood for only month now but still he ate it really quick. When he was ready, I burped him, cleaned up our mess and walked upstairs holding Henry. The upper floor had three bedrooms. There was a large bed and other stuff in one of them, other was full of home office stuff and the last one had nursey stuff. The upper floor also had a large bathroom and big walk-in closet. Matthew was in the nursery building a crib. I walked into the nursery and put Henry down to a swing that was already built near the door.

- Look, Henry. Daddy is making you a bed. You'll be a big boy tonight and sleep the whole night in it, Matthew chatted to Henry who was looking around him from the swing.

- Do you think we could paint the walls? These white walls and white furniture don't really match our image, I said and heard Matthew chuckle.

- You're right. We'll drive to a hardware store first thing tomorrow, Matthew promised and continued to build the crib.

- Did you see the cars? Hybrids. I didn't even have a car before and now we both have our own, I smiled at Matthew as I opened the first cardboard box. It was full of henry's clothes so I started to put them into a white chest of drawers.

- They were pretty cool, Matthew said clearly thinking about something else. I think he was missing his old life. I kind of didn't. Yesterday I was just a nobody and now I had everything I had ever wanted. We worked in silence. I got all of the boxes in the nursery empty while Matthew built the crib and the changing table.

- You do know that we have to move all of this stuff when we start to paint? Matthew chuckled as he looked around. I was just putting sheets to the crib.

- Of course. But it will be much easier to put stuff back when they already have a place where the belong, I smiled. Matthew lifted a sleeping Henry up from the swing and put him to his crib, and then we went to organize the bedroom. There wasn't anything else coming to the bedroom than a big chest of drawer, a large double bed with a bench to the end of it and two night stands. I found two bedside lamps from one box and I put them on the night stands.

- My clothes fit into the drawer so you can use the whole closet space, Matthew smiled at me.

- Thanks honey, I said sweetly and kissed his cheek. The look on his face was worth it.

- You're welcome, he said quietly and left to get a box from the closet. I walked downstairs and noticed that the men had finished their job and left. I tried to find a box with some decpration stuff but instead of it, I found a box that said "photos" on the top.

I opened it carefully and started to lift framed photos from the box to the livingroom floor. They had been photoshopped so that they looked more real. I found a wedding photo and put it on the mantel. I put a picture of Henry, aged only a few months, beside it. To the bedroom I picked a photo where Matthew was standing behind me his arms around my waist and we were both lookng at Henry who was sleeping in my arms.

I walked back to the bedroom holding the photo frame and saw that Matthew was putting away a cardboard box. I put the frame on the drawer and admired it. We looked like a real family in it.

- That's a great photo, Matthew said and got a new box. I nodded to myself.

- I'll go check up on Henry and then I'll go unpack the kitchen, I said to Matthew and he just nodded to me.

I walked to Henry's crib and peeked in. He was sleeping safe and sound. I turned on the baby monitor and took the receiver with me. Then I walked to the kitchen. I ordered a pizza with my new phone and started to unpack the dishes. I was able to rinse, dry and put to the cabinet three boxes of dishes before the doorbell rang. I took my wallet from my bag and walked to the door. I paid for the pizzas and carried them to the kitchen counter.

Then I walked upstairs to ask Matthew to eat. He had fallen asleep to the bed on his back. I still decided to wake him up to eat and then he could go back to sleep. It turned out to be easier said than done. I decided to be mean and tease him a little. I went to sit lie on top of him on my stomach.

- Honey, come to eat something, I sang to his ear. All I got for an aswer was a grunt. I kissed his cheek and finally his lips. Matthew's arms wrapped around me and his lips started to move with mine. I already felt his tongue touch my lips when I withdrew myself.

- You have my permission to wake me up that way every day, Matthew smied and I slapped his arm.

- Let's go eat, I said and got up. Matthew's arms had dropped to his sides the second I had started to move.

- I'm starving, Matthew said and got up to stand beside me. We walked downstairs together and ate in silence. When we had eaten, there was a cry coming from the baby monitor.

- I'll go, Matthew smiled and got up. I walked to the kitchen and heated a bottle of baby formula. I heard Matthew come down and walk to the bathroom to change henry's diaper. I sat on a purple couch, that had been unwrapped earlier, to wait for them. Matthew came to the livingroom, sat beside me and gave Henry to me. I put the bottle to a hungry Henry's mouth.

- I could get used to this view, Matthew said as he watched me and Henry.

- You'd better get used to it because we are kind of stuck here, I replied.

**A/N: I know Joe was born in 1989 so he would have been way too young to be married in 2007. But I wrote it before I realized it so I'm going with it. It will be explained in the next chapter. While you're waiting, please leave me some love :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi! This is a translated version of my Finnish story called Jumissa. I'm translating it on my own so I'm sorry for all of the spelling errors. I'm a big supporter of Joella, but it just didn't work for this story. But if you want to read about Joe and the lovely Stella, please check out my story Lovesick. You can find it in my profile. Please remember that Joe is going as Matthew and Susie as Natalie in this story. In the meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this story.**

**By the way, I own just my crazy ideas.**

By the end of the night we had unpacked all of the upper floor's boxes. Matthew was watching Henry and unpacking the home office boxes while I was organizing the closet. I had a huge wardrobe. As I had predicted, there was nothing black in the closet. The closet was pretty empty with just my things. One thing I noticed was that Natalie was quite a shoe-aholic because there was a glass closet for shoes. There were over fifty pairs of them.

I walked downstairs and chose a photo of a prom that me and Matthew had supposedly attended. I walked back up and put it on a shelve beside the shoe closet.

Then I walked to the home office to see how Matthew was doing. I stepped into the room that was almost finished. Matthew had put a photo of me and Henry on a picnic. In the photo, I was sitting on a red checkered quilt wearing yellow shorts and a lime green top. Henry was wearing a multi-coloured onesie. We were both smiling. It was a lovely photo. The clothes we were wearing in the photos had been sent to us but I didn't know how to use shortshere in Alaska where the weather was so cold. Maybe I could buy some wool stockings.

Matthew was unpacking a box holding folders and there was still a box full of books in the corner. I decided to help and started to lift the books to a bookshelve. We worked in silence but it wasn't awkward at all. I felt myself relaxed with Matthew.

- Have you noticed that it's already eight o'clock? Matthew asked as I had gotten the box empty.

- Is it so much already? I think it's time for Hnery to go to bed, I said and lifted Henry up fro the swing that Matthew hd carried fro the nursery to the home office.

- Right. Do you want me to feed him? Matthew asked.

- I'll go. You go to bed. You must be exhausted, I smiled at Matthew nd kissed his cheek.

- Thanks. I am pretty tired, Matthew smiled and touched my cheek with his thumb. The touch made my skin tickle.

I walked down the stairs and heated some baby formula in the microwave. I fed and burped Henry and changed a dry diaper to him. I carried him to the nursery and dressed him into a turquoise pyjama that had pictures of dinosaurs. Then I put him to the crib and caressed his belly a few time. He fell asleep almost immediately.

- Mommy loves you, I heard myself say. I didn't think myself as Henry's mother but somehow I already knew I loved him. I felt Matthew wrap his arms aroung my waist.

- So does daddy, he whispered. I felt his hot breath on my skin. It was tickling again. We stood still for a few minutes. I had closed my eyes to enjoy Matthew's touch. I wasn't sure yet if I felt something for Matthew but I enjoyed his closeness.

- Come on Nat. When the baby sleeps, we should sleep too, Matthew whispered to my ear and dropped his arms from my waist. Before I had time to miss his touch, I felt his hand in mine.I checked on Henry one more time and we walked to the bedroom swtching the nursery light off on the way out.

- I'll go change my clothes, I said and released my hand from Matthew's. I walked into the closet and changed into a long, hot pink silk nightgown. All of Natalie's underwear were made of silk. Who did choose all of them? I couldn't sleep in a bra so I took them off but I felt myself naked without them so I put on a matching dressing gown.

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I noticed that Matthew had been there before me because the toilet seat was up. Men! I closed it before I walked to the bedroom. Matthew was sitting on the bed only in his boxers. I tried not to look but his body was so muscular that I couldn't keep my eyes from wondering to his abs a few seconds longer than I was suppose to.

- Do you see something you like? Matthew asked when I was still standing at the end of the bed a few minutes later.

- Don't think too much about yourself, I huffed.

- Of course not, he laughed.

- I think we only have one bed, I quietly sighed. I had never shared a bed with a strange man before. Matthew wasn't that much of a stranger anymore but I still didn't know anything else about him than that his real name was Joe.

- I can sleep on the couch if you want, Matthew said and got up from the bed. At least he was a gentleman.

- You don't have to. There's plenty of room, I said and took off my dressing gown. I notced that Matthew was staring me with wide eyes.

- Do you see something you like? I asked imitating his own words.

- I might, Matthew just say. I decided to ignore him and went to lie on the edge of the bed. Matthew went to his own side and spread his body to take half of the bed.

- Come closer. I won't bite, Matthew said.

- I wouldn't be so sure of it, I breathed out. I wasn't suppose to say it out loud.

- You're going to fall off the bed, Matthew laughed. I moved an inch closer to him.

- I'm fine right here, I huffed and turned on my side my back facing him.

- Won't I even get a kiss goodnight? I heard Matthew whisper. I was sure he was smiling the great smile he always smiled when he was joking.

- Good night Matthew, I said sounding annoyed.

- Good night darling, he replied luaghing and turned to his side. I couldn't sleep feeling him on the bed with me. I didn't relax and fall asleep before I heard his breathing even and he started to snore a little.

I woke up a couple of hours later when I heard Henry cry. I tried to get up but something was holding me to the bed. I looked around and noticed that Matthew had pulled me close to him and his arms were around me.

- Matt, I whispered and poked his chest. His hard as a rock chest. But Matthew didn't even flinch. The grip of his arms just grw stronger. This was starting to remind me too much of what had happened this afternoon. I decided that the best way to wake up him fast was to kiss him. I mean, he had given me his permission to wake him up like that anytime I wanted. And now I had to get him up fast because Henry was getting angry. I pressed my lips against Matthew's and caressed his cheek with my fingers. It didn't take long until he was moving his own lips against mine. I pulled away instantly.

- Henry is crying, I whispered and Matthew pulled his arms awy from my waist.

- I'll go. You just sleep, he whispered and pressed a kiss on my forehead.

I pressed my head on the pillow and listened how the crying stopped almost immediately as Matthew walked into the room. I heard Matthew walk downstairs and clatter there for a while. Some time passed by until I heard the steps in the stairs again. They continued to the nursery. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the quietness. A moment later I felt the mattress move. Matthew turned on his side his back facing me.

- Matt, I whispered.

- Yeah? he replied.

- Could you hold me? I whispered gently. I felt Matthew moe closer on the mattress and soon he wrapped his arms around me and pressed his head on a pillow. I moved a little closer so that our bodies were pressed together. If we would end up sleeping like this, why wouldn't we go to slee like this too. I was sure it helped us both with our home sickness.

- He's sound asleep, Matthew whispered to my ear.

- Good. And thank you for going to him, I whispered and caressed his arms with my fingers.

- It was my pleasure, Matthew yawned to my ear.

- Tomorrow night it's my turn, I yawned back. I stopped caressing his arm and put my own arm against his.

- Please don't stop, Matthew whispered sounding sleepy but polite. I caressed his arm as long as I was sure he was asleep and fell asleep almost right after I stopped.

The next morning I woke up early. Matthew had turned on the bed so that only one of his arms was on me so I got up pretty easily. I put on my dressing gown and walked to the nursery. Henry was on his back in the crib and he was watching mobile hanging above it.

- Good morning sweetheart, I said as I lifted him up. He smiled his toothless smile at me. It must have been the sweetest smile I had ever seen. I noticed that he had dimples.

I carried Henry downstairs and changed him into a dry diaper. I walked to the kitchen holding Henry and warmed some milk to him. When he had drank it, I put him in his bassinet that was in the kitchen and started to make breakfast. Matthew came downstairs just a half an hour after us. His hair was wet and he was wearing only his pajama bottoms.

- Good morning, Matthew said to me and pressed a kiss on my forehead. He kissed Henry, too, before he sat down to the table. I put a plate full of pancakes in front of him. I had set the table earlier.

- Would you like coffee or juice? I asked politely.

- Coffee, please. How long have you been up? Matthew asked as I gave him a cup of coffee.

- About thirty minutes, I replied and sat down.

- And you already did all this? he asked.

- It wasn't hard but I didn't have to to do all I wanted. I would love to take a shower. Would you mind watching Henry? He should be fine because I've fed him and changed him, I smiled at Matthew.

- Of course. Stay as long as you like, he smiled back at me. I kissed Henry for a while. He loved the closeness.

Then I walked upstairs and decided to draw myself a bubblebath. I sat down to the tub and relaxed.

I started to think about my former life for the first time here. I had no parents or other living relatives so no one would really miss me or notice that I was gone. People would just assume I moved away. But I didn't know anything about Matthew's life. He could have a family waiting, even a wife. He didn't have a ring earlier and he was flirting with me, so I believed he was single. But you can never know, right?

I washed my hair adn scrubbed myself clean. I got out of the tub, took the plug off and wrapped a towel around myself when I was dry. I brushed and blow dried my hair. I pressed some hair mousse in them and curled them a little so that I had little waves in my hair. I put only a little mascara because my skin still looked good fom the tanning spray. I took my clothes with me and walked to the walk-in closet. I put the clothes to a bench that was in the middle of the closet and wondered what to wear. I ended up wearing white underwear and a long, electric blue dress. I put a white cardigan to cover my arms.

I walked to the bedroom to make the bed but I noticed that Matthew had already done it. I walked upstairs to see what the boys were doing but they were nowhere to be seen. So I peeked out of the window and saw them by the post box. Matthew was talking to our neighbour Nancy. I pulled white UGGs to my feet, opened the door, locked it and started to walk to them.

- Oh but you have to come. You can bring Henry with you. He's such a cute baby, nancy flirted with Matthew. Nancy's fingers were going up and down Matthew's bare arm. Some nnerve she had. I was pretty sure I had seen a wedding band on her finger earlier.

- Can we get back to you later? Matthew asked politely. He wasn't flirting but I noticed that he didn't move her hand away, either.

- Hi Nancy, I smiled at her when I reached Matthew's side. Nancy's fingers withdrew the second she noticed me and I felt pleased again.

- Hey darling, Matthew smiled and pressed a kiss on my forehead again. henry was in his baby carriage looking at the toys that were hanging from the edge. I bent over the carriage and kissed Henry's forehead. That made him smile widely.

- Hi sweetheart, I said back to Matthew. I lifted my left hand to the nape of his neck and let my fingers go through his hair a few times. Then my fingers played with few of his curls. Matthew closed his eyes. I smiled smugly to Nancy. The expression on Nancy's face told everything. She was jealous. She soon hid it behind her fake smile.

- I was just telling Matt that I'm having a small gathering at my house on Saturday. It would be a good way to meet all the neighbours. You have to come. Everyone is looking forward to see you, Nancy chatted. I twisted Matthew's hair in my fingers and noticed that he wasn't paying any attention to Nancy. His eyes were still closed.

- Thank you for the invite. We'll be happy to come if it's really alright thatwe'll bring Henry with us? I replied nicely. Matthew let a small sigh out of his mouth. Nancy's eyes went wide.

- Of course. I'll see you at six then, Nancy said weakly.

- I can't wait to meet your family. And everyone elsee too, I said and accidentally pulled Matthew's hair a little harder. That made him sigh even louder. Nancy looked like she was imagining her own fantasy about Matthew.

- Dean is anxciousto meet you too. And the kids. I'll see you then, Nancy said and started to walk to her house. The same second her steps were no were to be heard, Matthew swept me to his arms.

- I thought she would never leave, he said and kissed me passionately. When we finally pulled away from each other, I noticed I was panting from the lack of oxygen. .

- Wow, I sighed.

- Same to you, Matthew panted. That was the most incredible kiss I had ever gotten. We started to walk side by side. I pushed the baby carriage and Matthew's arm was around my waist.

- You liked it when I pulled your hair, didn't you? I laughed as we were walking.

- You have no idea how good that felt. But next time, please don't do it in front of the neighbours, Matthew said blushing.

- Poor Nancy almost had an orgasm when she was watching you, I laughed and Matthew's face turned into a terrified expression.

- You're kidding, right? he asked.

- Oh no, I'm not. Haven't you noticed that the puma totally wants you? I asked him.

- Puma? he asked stunned.

- You know. An older woman who's after younger men. And she has to be at least forty when you're twenty-five at tops, I said trying to guess Matthew's real age.

- Actually I'm twenty-two, matthew replied. I would never have guessed he was so young. He looked and seemed a lot older.

- Then you are a year younger than me, I said surprised.

- And who's the puma now? Matthew teased me and laughed.

- Do I look so much older? I asked and slappsed his hard as a rock chest. Outch!

- You don't look a day over eighteen, he said and kissed my forehead. It was becoming a habit.

- Thank you, I smiled. We had already walked the around naighbourhood. It wasn't a big one. It only had about ten houses that were all most likely inhibited by familys with kids.

- Should we go buy those paints you wanted? Henry seems to be sleeping. At least we could pick the paints in peace, Matthew suggested. I nodded and he went inside the house. I puhed the carriage in front of the carage. A while later matthew came back.

- I thought you might want your bag, he said and gave me my white shoulder bag. I smiled my thanks to him. Matthew opened the carage door and pressed the key to open the car doors. Then he opened the trunk. I lifted Henry carefully to his car seat that had been installed to the back seat ready for us. Matthew put the baby carriage to the trunk. I sat to the car and Matthew came to sit in the driver's seat.

- How rich do you think the neighbours think we are? I asked matthew as he reversed the car from the carage. The carage door closed when Matthew pressed a button in the car.

- I don't know. I think we are middle class, he said.

- If this is middle class, then I was poor before, I sighed. I had managed fine in my little rented apartment and I had money to live on, but I still couldn't even afford to imagine all that the Smith family had.

- Tell me something about yourself, Matthew said and took my hand in his when we were driving to the centre of the small town.

- There's not much to tell. I worked at a K-Mart as a cashier. I had a boyfriend but we broke up before I got here, I told him. It was only few days but I felt like I had known him for many weeks.

- Why did you break up? Matthew asked.

- He broke up with me. And afterwards I heard that he had cheated on me with another woman for the whole time we were together, I said. I didn't like to think about Jamie but it was easy to talk to Matthew.

- How long were you together? he asked.

- A year, I said quietly.

- Outs, Matthew said and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

- Tell me about it, I said looking out of the window.

- What's your real name? Matthew asked interested. We were not prohibitedto discuss our before lives together. We just weren't allowed to tell other people.

- Susie, I said quietly. I felt like I had already left Susie behind and Natalie was the new me. But that sounded crazy, right?

- It suits you. As does your real hair colour and the cute freckles, Matthew smirked. So he did know it was me on the hallway.

- How did you know it was me? I asked. I didn't look anything like back then.

- From your eyes. It felt like I could drown in them when I first looked at you, Matthew said. I couldn't believe he had believed the same wy I did. Maybe the time we would be stuck together, wouldn't go to waste after all.

**A/N: I know Joe was born in 1989 and in this it seems like he's born in 1988. But I'm going with this so it doesn't matter. And in the show they don't really tell it so I don't think it matters. Please leave me some love :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi! This is a translated version of my Finnish story called Jumissa. I'm translating it on my own so I'm sorry for all of the spelling errors. I'm a big supporter of Joella, but it just didn't work for this story. But if you want to read about Joe and the lovely Stella, please check out my story Lovesick. You can find it in my profile. Please remember that Joe is going as Matthew and Susie as Natalie in this story. In the meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this story.**

**By the way, I own just my crazy ideas.**

We got the house kind of fixed before Saturday. It still needed some little things like a few painting on the wall. We had painted the nursery turquoise blue and the master bedroom light brown. The dining room was yellow and the livingroom kind of light purple. I liked the colours we had chosen together.

So now it was Saturday evening and we were getting ready to go to Nancy's place. Henry was sleeping in his crib so he wouldn't be cranky at the party.

- Matt, I don't know what to wear! I yelled from the walk-in closet. Matthew was in the bedroom getting ready. I stood in front of my clothes wearing a black lace corsage and black thigh-high stockings with black lace boy shorts. Those were the only things that were black in this whole closet so I had to wear them. My hair was up on a bun and my make-up was ready. I was wearing black pumps. All that was missing was the right dress.

- You could go like that, he breathed to my neck as he put his arms around my waist. I felt my breath get cought in my throat. I didn't think he would come in here. He pressed himself against me and kissed my neck. He turned my body so I was facing him and pressed his lips against mine. I kissed him hungrily.

- I don't think Nancy would approve if I showed up like this, I smiled as we broke apart. We had become much closer in these last few days.

I had learned that Matthew/Joe had three brothers and parents at home. He had been a singer, and kind of famous, so that was probably the reason we had been sent to middle of nowhere. And he had had a fling with his high school sweetheart Stella but it hadn't worked out. We still hadn't discussed the events that brought us here. But we found comfort in each other. And passion. And caring. And warmth. And… But it hadn't moved anywhere from kissing.

- Who cares what Nancy thinks? But you are right. You can't go like that. This is all for me. We have to cover that amazing body of yours, he sighed and let me go. He started to go through my clothes.

- All for you? What makes you say that? I smiled at him.

- Well, I'm pretty sure you don't make a show for Henry, he laughed.

- No, of course not. That would be crazy. Actually, nice lingerie makes me feel confident so it's more for me than you, I winked at him and took the strapless deep purple silk dress, that reached to my knees, he was holding. I slipped into it and Matthew zipped it up. As he was was doing it, he trailed kisses to my shoulders.

- Are you sure there isn't a little part that wanted to dress nicely for me? Matthew asked and kissed the spot behind my ear. That made me tremble.

- Uh-oh, I managed to say. Matthew turned me around and teased me by kissing me anywhere but my mouth.

- Still sure? he asked. I buried my fingers into his hair.

- Fine. I put on nice lingerie so you would like it in case you saw it. Satisfied? I asked.

- Not quite, he said and kissed me full on the mouth. I felt myself get lost in the kiss. My fingers were curling around his hair and I felt him sighing into my mouth. I smiled against his lips.

- Maybe we should leave soon, I whispered to him as he started to kiss my collarbone.

- We have a baby. They'll understand if we are late, he whispered back to me.

- You can't always blame the baby. Especially not when it's your own fault, I smiled and pulled away. For the first time tonight I actually looked at his clothes. He was wearing light jeans and a purple shirt so that we matched. He looked really good. Although his hair was a mess.

- I know, I know. But all I want to do now is to not attend the stupid party and just kiss you all night, he said. I noticed a bulge in his jeans. And let me tell you, it wasn't little.

I smiled at him. I knew he was a virgin. He had told me he had a purity ring and he had made a promise to God to not have sex before he was married. So I knew it wouldn't go any further than kissing. I wasn't a virgin and I sure wanted it to go further. But I didn't want to push him into something he wasn't comfortable with.

- C'mon. Let's go wake up our little sunshine, I smiled at him and took his hand on my own.

- I like the sound of that. Our, he smiled and kissed my hand. We walked to the nursery together and saw that Henry was already awake. I took him to my arms and he smiled at me.

- Hey sweetheart. Are you hungry? Daddy's going to make you some milk, I chatted to Henry. Matthew walked downstairs as I dressed Henry to his best. When I was finished, he had on purple pants with a purple and lime green plaid shirt. He looked adorable. I walked to the walk-in closet holding Henry and took my white jacket from there. Then we went downstairs.

- I can feed him, Matthew smiled and I gave Henry to him. I put my jacket to one of the kitchen chairs.

- Thank you. I was kind of worried that the dress might get dirty. Don't forget to burb him! I smiled and walked back to my walk-in closet. I found a pair of pretty silver earrings that were shaped like swirls and a simple long silver necklase. I put them on and looked myself from the mirror. I thought I looked nice. I hoped I wasn't looking too fancy for this party. For all I know, everyone else could be in jeans. But Matthew had said that Nancy had been talking about a more formal party so I hoped my clothes were fine.

- Darling, are you coming? Matthew yelled at me when I was putting some diapers to my bag in Henry's room.

- In a minute, I yelled back at him. I put the diapers to my bag and walked downstairs. I took my coat from the chair and put it on.

- You're beautiful, Matthew said to me when I joined them at the door. He had put a hat and a jacket to Henry. They were both white.

- Thank you, I said blushing. I wasn't used to getting compliments from men. Jamie had never really complimented me. He might have said I looked good a couple of times but even then he had been waisted.

I took Matthew's hand and we walked out the door. Matthew was carrying Henry in his bassinet in case he would fall asleep at the party. I locked the door and we started to walk to Nancy's house. It was a couple of houses down from ours.

- Are you sure I look alright? I asked nervously.

- You look perfect, Matthew smiled at me and kissed my forehead. I liked his habit of doing it. It made me feel loved. I was a head shorter than him but tonight I had pumps so I was almost his height.

- If you say so, I just smiled. We reached the house and walked to the front door. I was just about to knock when Matthew stopped me.

- We can still go back. It could be just the three of us, he smiled at me.

- We are already here. And we promised to Nancy that we would come. How would we look in our neighbours eyes if we wouldn't show up? Besides, we are spending every other night at our house, I laughed.

- I guess you're right, he pouted.

- Don't pout. I'm not giving into you, I laughed.

- Fine, he said. I knocked on the door and Matthew pulled me closer.

- Just one kiss and I'll get through the night, he whispered.

- A quick one, I smiled and he pressed his lips on mine. Our lips moved against each other and it turned into something more than just a quick kiss. I heard someone open the door and clear their throat. I pulled away from the kiss and felt myself blush.

When I looked at the doorway, Nancy was standing there with a blond man. He was in his forties and had a little bald patch on the top of his head. He also had a beard. He looked like a very warm person.

- Hello. You must be the Smiths. My wife has told so much about you. I'm Dean Porter. Please come in, the man shook hands with me which forced me to give up Matthew's hand and let us in.

- Nice to meet you. I'm Matt and this is my wife Natalie. And here of course is our son Henry, Matthew smiled as he shook hands with Dean. Nancy took my coat and showed where to put Henry's things.

The house was nicely decorated and it felt very homy. You could see that the family had been living there for many years. Matthew took Henry from the bassinet and we followed the Porters to a large family room. There were about about fifteen people in there.

- Everyone. This is Matthew and Natalie Smith and their son Henry. They moved here from Texas this week, Nancy introduced us. The chatter soon started again.

- Would you like something to drink? Wine or beer? Dean asked us.

- No thank you. I don't drink alcohol. But I could take a coke, Matthew said politely. I was happy he had told me earlier that he didn't do alcohol or drugs because it might have looked suspicious if I had reacted to the comment. Of course drugs were a no to me too.

- I could have some red wine please, I smiled and Dean walked to the kitchen. A few minutes later he returned with two glasses. We both thanked him. Nancy took me to meet everyone. I was relieved to notice that everyone had dressed to their best that evening. Parties were probably a rare thing here.

- This is Jocelynn Carter. His husband Mick works at at the airport. He couldn't make it tonight because he had to work, Nancy told me as she introduced me to a brunette in her forties. Dean had taken Matthew to meet someone else ja he had Henry with him. I bet Jocelynn and Nancy were best friends and gossiped about everyone on their free time.

- Nice to meet you, I smiled and shook her hand. She was pretty, I assumed, but she had way too much make-up on.

- So Texas, huh? Why did you move here? Jocelynn asked interested.

- We just wanted a whole new place. And I love snow, I smiled.

- It must be hard to be away from all your friends, Jocelynn said.

- Oh, kind of. But with modern tehnology it's easy to keep contact with everyone, I smiled. In reality I couldn't contact anyone. It would break the rules and it could be dangerous.

- You kids with your computers. I still don't know how to use one, Jocelynn laughed and Nancy joined her. I just smiled.

- I can teach you if you want. It's really not that hard, I smiled.

- Maybe someday, Jocelynn said. Nancy took me to the next group of people. There were three men and two women. I had seen one of the men before. He was in his mid-twenties and he had short blond hair and designer clothes. I think he lived in the house next to ours.

- Hi, I'm Zachary. I live next door to you. And this is my boyfriend Luke, the man I had recognized said. Luke was around the same age as Zachary and he had long brown hair that was on a ponytail.

- Nice to meet you. I'm so sorry I haven't been able to come and talk to you earlier. We've been so busy with the house, I smiled and shook their hands. I had a feeling that I would come along great with Zachary.

- Oh, that's understandable. Are you pleased with the house? Zachary asked.

- It's perfect. It was just way too white when we moved in. We've been doing some painting this week. It's coming along great, I chatted.

- Where are my manners? Natalie, this is Bob Williams and his wife Tina. They have twelve year old twin girls, Katrina and Regina, Zachary introduced me to the couple standing next to him. They were in their thirties. I bet they were high school sweethearts. Bob was muscular and had a light brown hair. And Tina was very thin and had blonde hair with a really nice curls.

- Pleasure to meet you, I smiled.

- And I'm Cynthia Leeds. I'm a single mom of three boys, the last woman in the group told me as she shook hands with me. I nodded smiling at her. Cynthia was in her mid-thirties at tops. She was really pretty. Her long black hair was on a bun and her brown skin glowed.

- Nice to meet you, I said.

- You can all talk more later. I still have more people for you to meet, Nancy smiled. Nancy took me to meet another group of people, three couples.

- Natalie, these are John and Marta Wright, Robert and Claire Daniels and Greg and Laura Johnson, Nancy told me. I shook hands with everyone. John and Marta were younger than the others. They were about thirty. John was a tall and lanky man with black hair and Marta was a short and chubby woman with brown hair. They were a funny looking couple. Robert and Claire, on the other hand, looked like they belonged together. They were dressed in a very conservativeway. They were in their forties. They both had brown hair. I was sure that Claire cut Robert's hair on her own. Greg and Laura were, too, in their forties. Greg looked like an insurance advisor in his suit. Maybe he even was one. Laura was wearing a beautiful red full-length dress. Her skin was kind of pink so it didn't quite go with her complexion.

After I had shaken hands with everyone, Nancy took me to the last group. There was a couple in their sixties and a man in his thirties.

- Hello, I'm Natalie, I smiled at them.

- Hello dear. I'm Helen Cross and this is my husband William and my son James, the woman introduced herself and her family to me. I shook hands with them.

- Nice to meet you, I smiled.

- The pleasure is all mine, James smiled. I think he was trying to flirt with me. He had black hair and he was kind of good-looking. But I think he thought way more about himself than he was supposed to.

- Excuse me, Nancy said and vanished.

- Have you been enjoying your time here in Kodiak, Natalie? Helen asked me. She and his husband looked like Santa Claus and Mrs Claus.

- I have, thank you. This is a really beautiful town. And the people are very nice, I smiled.

- That's true. This is a very peaceful neighbourhood to raise children in. We have been living here since James was a little boy. We were the first residents on this street. And now James has his own house on this same street, Santa Claus, I mean William, told me.

- And we are hoping he will raise his future children here too, Helen smiled sweetly. James kept staring me and it made me very uncomfortable. I smiled at them and looked through the room for Matthew with my eyes. I spotted him and his eyes locked with mine. He started to walk towards us. When his arm wrapped around my waist, I relaxed.

- Matt, we were just telling your beautiful wife what a good place this is to raise children in. Are you two planning to have more children? William asked. I looked at Matthew and he looked into my eyes.

- Hopefully, he smiled more to me than to William. I wondered if it all was an act. I knew he had done some acting in the past so this was all a lot easier to him than to me.

- Well you too make such cute babies that you should definitely have more, Helen smiled and cooed to Henry. Henry was smiling at her. Little did she know that Henry wasn't actually our own.

- Thank you, I smiled and drank my wine glass empty. I was getting a little tipsy. I hadn't been drining that much in the past but I enjoyed a glass of wine when it was approarite.

We mingled among the guest for a while and I had too more glasses red wine. I held to Matthew's arm all night because James was still staring at me. It was annoying. I wanted to go and tell him to back off but I didn't have the courage. At least he wouldn't come on to me if I was with Matthew.

Henry had fallen asleep so Matthew had put him to his bassinet to the guestroom. Nancy came to talk to us a little while later.

- Oh Matthew. It's so good you came. Everyone is so pleased to meet you, Nancy smiled and put her hand to Matthews arm. I stared at her and moved a little closer to Matthew. That made Matthew wrap his arm around my waist again and Nancy had to back off.

- It was a pleasure to meet everyone but I think it's time for us to leave. We should take Henry to his own bed to sleep, Matthew smiled at Nancy.

- Oh, so soon? Nancy asked.

- Well, it's almost midnight. It's time for us to leave, I said smiling.

- But we have to do this again soon, Nancy said.

- Maybe we could have a housewarming party at a later date, Matthew promised her.

- That would be wonderful, Nancy smiled and left. I put my empty wine glass to a side table and Matthew went to get Henry. I was just about to put on my jacket when Zachary came to talk to me.

- Hey, are you leaving already? he asked.

- Yeah, we have to take Henry home, I smiled.

- Yes, of course. Would you and Matthew, and Henry of course, like to come to our house for brunch tomorrow? he asked nicely.

- We'd love to, I smiled.

- So, I'll see at noon, Zachary smiled and kissed my cheek. I liked Zachary. Matthew came from the guest room carrying Henry and my shoulder bag as Zachary walked back to the party. I put my jacket on and we stepped out of the house. Matthew took my hand.

- I promised Zachary that we would go for brunch to their house tomorrow at noon, I smiled to him.

- And Zachary was? he asked. I had a little hard time to remember everyone's names, too.

- He's the boyfriend of Luke, I said and saw that Matthew connected the two.

- Right. They were nice, he said.

- Everyone were nice, I corrected him as I unlocked our front door and we stepped in.

- Not everyone, Matthew said as we climbed the stairs up. We walked to the nursery and I dressed Henry to bed. When he was in his crib, we walked to our bedroom hand in hand.

- What do you mean by that? I asked him as he started to unzip my dress for me.

- I didn't like the way that James looked at you, he said and kissed my shoulders.

- Well, I didn't like it either but I don't think he'll do anything because he thinks I'm married with you, I said. I felt my whole body tingle from the kisses. I was kind of drunk.

- We are married, he said and kissed my neck.

- No, Matthew and Natalie are. We, Joe and Susie, aren't, I said to him.

- That's right. But you are still mine, he said and turned me around in his arms. My dress fell to the floor. He backed me to lean on the wall as he kissed my collarbone.

- Feeling a little possessive, are we? I laughed as he started to kiss his way up to my mouth.

- You are mine, he simply said and kissed me passionately. His hand were on my face and my own hands went up to his hair.

- We should stop, I panted as we broke apart.

- Why? Matthew asked me.

- Because we are close to breaking the barrier. It's going to go too far if we won't stop now. Soon we won't be able to stop, I reasoned him.

- I guess you are right, he said and backed away from me. He went to sit on the edge of the bed and put his elbows on his knees. He buried his face to his hands. I walked over to him and lowered myself to stand on my knees in front of him.

- It's not that I don't want to kiss you and touch you. I really do. But right now I'm perfectly happy if you just hold me, I whispered to him and he looked into my eyes.

- I've never had these feelings before. I know it's way soon but I feel like I would have known you for my whole life. Like you would be the one I've always been looking for. And these possessive feelings I have about you, they scare me, Matthew whispered. I pulled him for a hug.

- I feel the same way about you. It's like we would have been together before, maybe in another lifetime, and now I've found you again. It's okay to feel possessive, I whispered back at him.

- Thank you, he sighed into my shoulder.

- For what? I asked confused.

- For being here. For being you, he whispered and pulled away from the hug. He kissed me gently.

- Always, I smiled. I took his hand and pulled him up. I carefully removed his clothes leaving him only to wear his boxer briefs.

- Are you going to sleep in those? he asked me. I shook my head and walked to the walk-in closet. I heard him go to the bathroom.

I took of my corsage and thigh-high stockings and pumps. Then I slipped into a white silk to and boxer shorts. When I heard Matthew enter the bedroom again, I went to the bathroom to do my evening chores. When I was ready, I walked into the bedroom. Matthew was already sleeping.

I slipped under the cover and turned to my side. Soon Matthew wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer.

- Good night, he whispered half a sleep.

- Good night sweetheart, I smiled and closed my eyes.

**A/N: Please leave me some love :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi! This is a translated version of my Finnish story called Jumissa. I'm translating it on my own so I'm sorry for all of the spelling errors. I'm a big supporter of Joella, but it just didn't work for this story. But if you want to read about Joe and the lovely Stella, please check out my story Lovesick. You can find it in my profile. In the meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this story. Please remember that Joe is going as Matthew and Susie as Natalie in this story. **

**By the way, I own just my crazy ideas.**

I woke up early next morning. I was happy to notice that I didn't have a headache like I usually had after having too much to drink. Matthew had had gone to his morning run because I was alone in our bed. I got up and checked on Henry. He was still sleeping. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and blow dried my hair. I put on very light make-up and put my hair up on a high ponytail.

I walked to my walk-in closet and put on white woolen stockings and a yellow mini dress with short sleeves. I looked nice. I walked dowstairs after checking up on Henry, who was still asleep, and started to make muffins. I put on an apron. We had some blueberries so I decided to make blueberry muffins. When the muffins were ready, I set the table and put the coffeemaker on. I took off the apron and put it back to the kitchen cabinet. As I was doing the dishes, I heard the front door open. I continued my work and a while later a sweaty Matthew came to stand behind me and kissed the top of my head.

- Good morning darling, he said.

- Good morning. Go take a shower and then come to breakfast, I smiled and turned around. I kept my hands up so I wouldn't wet my clothes. Matthew kissed me quickly and ran upstairs. I finished the dishes and dried my hands. A while later Matthew returned holding Henry.

- Look who's up, Matthew smiled and I took Henry from him. I heated a bottle I had put ready and sat down to the table to feed him. Matthew was pouring coffee to our mugs.

- He did sleep pretty late, I said. Normally Henry woke up at six and now it was almost eight.

- He woke up at four. I put him back to bed before I went for a run, Matthew said and took a muffin.

- Well that explains it, I smiled. Matthew took a bite and closed his eyes.

- You made my favourites, he smiled and kissed me suddenly.

- I did? Good to know, I smiled. I had had no idea they were his favourites. I had just done them because we had some blueberries.

- These are really good, he said and took another one. Henry had drank all the milk so I lift him up on my shoulder. He burped pretty quickly. I got up and put him down to a play mat. I went back to the table and took a muffin. Matthew had already eaten four.

- You'll feel sick soon if you don't stop, I laughed at him.

- These just are the best muffins I've ever had, he laughed with me. We ate and talked about the previous night's party.

- You can take a nap before we have to go if you want to. You had to wake up so early today, I said to Matthew after we had cleared the table.

- I'm fine. We'll just go to bed little earlier tonight, he winked at me. I just laughed.

- That's just fine by me, I smiled and put my arms around his neck. He put his arms around my waist and pulled my body close to his. I pressed my head against his chest and he put head on mine. We stood there, just hugging, for a long time.

- Tell me something about you, he said suddenly.

- What do you want to know? I asked.

- Anything. Everything, he said. We moved to sit on the couch. Matthew pulled me to sit on his lap. I pressed my head on his chest again. He played with my ponytail.

- There's not much to tell. I didn't really have friends. Well, I had one friend. You met her at the headquarters. I liked to read. I didn't wear any bright colours. I lived in a tiny rented apartment. I couldn't keep a houseplant alive. I had a boyfriend until my last shift at K-Mart, I told him.

- What do you mean 'until your last shift'? he asked.

- I walked to work that day like any other day. Jamie came up to me at the parking lot and told me it was over. And I had to go to work right after that, I said. I felt a few tears drop to my cheeks from my eyes. Matthew took my face into his hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs.

- From what you've told me, I gather he was a jerk. I want you to know that I am not like that. I won't hurt you. I would never cheat on you. I was raised better than that. And I already care about you so much that I don't even want to think about being with someone else, Matthew said and kissed me gently. I curled my fingers to his hair and pulled away to breath. I turned around on his lap to face him. We pressed our foreheads together and he drew circles to my back with his fingers.

- So what's your favourite book? he asked me.

- P.S. I love you by Cecelia Ahern. It's really good.. It makes me cry everytime. It's about a woman who loses her husband but receives letters from him every month for a year after he's passed away, I told him.

- Sounds good. Maybe we could see if the local book store has it, Matthew smiled.

- That would be nice, I smiled.

- By the way, you look very good in bright colours, Matthew winked. I laughed.

- Thank you, I said.

- You're welcome, he smiled and kissed my cheek.

- So, what about you? Tell me something, I said to Matthew. I turned my head around to check on Henry. He was still watching the toys above his head.

- I loved to play board games with my family. I was kind of a serial dater but I always had a special place in my heart for Stella. But as you know, it didn't work out. It turned out we were much better just as friends. We have known each other for a really long time and she is my best friend. So I think it was natural for us to have feelings for each other, Matthew told me.

- Do you still have feelings for her? I asked.

- Yes, but not romantic ones. They are all saved for you, he smiled and kissed me again. This kiss was sweet.

- Good to know, I smiled.

- We should probably play with Henry. He'll soon think we have abandoned him, Matthew laughed. I nodded and got up from his lap. I walked over to Henry and took him to my arms. Then I walked back to the couch and sat down beside Matthew. He took Henry to his lap and I put my head on his shoulder. Matthew put his arm around me and I tickled Henry's belly. That made him smile.

- He's adorable, isn't he? I smiled and looked at Matthew.

- Yes, he is, Matthew smiled looking at me. He kissed my forehead gently. Henry's eyes started to shut and I felt my own eyes shut a little too. Matthew started to sing a song I didn't recognise.

" _In a crowded place, I see just your face_

_And it looks so familiar  
I can't get to you, though I'm trying to  
There are just too many barriers_

_But I only see you, in all that I do  
To the rest I am blind  
I don't want something new, other than you,  
For the rest of my life"_

The song had nice words and Matthew's voice was beautiful. He could reach the higher notes perfectly. He sang quietly, so it was almost a whisper but I heard him clearly. I put my hand on his knee and rubbed it. His hand rubbed my side as he continued to sing the song. I felt really happy. It felt like we were a family for real.

A while later I opened my eyes.

- He's asleep. I'm going to take him to his crib, Matthew smiled and got up. I sat on the couch as I waited for him to come back. A few minutes later he returned. He sat down and I climbed on his lap. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged myself to him. His hands went around my waist.

- You voice is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, I whispered to his ear. I felt him smile against my shoulder.

- Thank you, he said.

- Could you sing some more? I asked and lowered my head on his shoulder. He started to sing Elvis Presley's Love Me Tender. I smiled and closed my eyes. I got lost in his voice for a while. When the song ended, I lifted my head and kissed him gently.

- Thank you, I smiled at him as we ended the kiss.

- I'll sing to you anytime you want, he whispered. I pressed my head on his shoulder.

- Do you ever wonder what's going to happen when we can go back? I asked.

- All the time, he said.

- In a way, I don't want to go back to being Susie. I had nothing and now I have everything. And I don't mean the stuff. I mean, I had no family. My parents died when I was in college so I have no one. And now I have you and Henry, I sighed.

- You'll always have me, Matthew whispered to my ear.

- That sounds wonderful but you can't say that for sure. You can feel a whole lot different when you go home to your ordinary life. After all, we are going to different places after this. And it can happen any day, I said. I closed my eyes to keep the tears away. I didn't even want to think about the pain I would feel when I would have to say goodbye. It seemed like my whole life was about saying goodbye to everyone I loved.

- I know how I feel. Let's enjoy this while it lasts, he whispered and kissed my neck.

- What do you think happens to Henry after all this? I don't want to give him away, I whispered. Now the tears were falling to my cheeks.

- I don't know. But he is an orphan. It may be possible to adopt him, he said and lifted my head from his shoulder. He wiped away my tears.

- I really hope it is, I smiled through my tears.

- Darling, don't cry. I don't think we have to go just yet. At least the situation I'm in isn't going to solve in just one night, he said. He hadn't talked about it before.

- Would you like to talk about it? I asked.

- Later. We have plenty of time when we come back from the brunch, he said.

- Oh, the brunch! I totally forgot. I must look like a mess, I said and started to get up from Matthew's lap but he held me down.

- You look beautiful. And we still have a few hours, he smiled. He held my body close and kissed me gently. I pushed my hands under his t-shirt and slid my fingers on his abs. His hands were caressing my back. I felt his tongue enter my mouth and I played with it with my own. I moved my hands away from under his shirt and into his hair. He moaned when I pulled his hair a little and pulled me closer. I felt his hands on my bottom. I smiled against his lips and pulled away a little.

- Sorry. I got a little carried away, I smiled as I rested my forehead on his.  
- It's alright darling. It felt very nice, he smiled. I rubbed the nape of his neck with my fingers.

- It's just that I'm not really sure how far you are comfortable to going. This is all new to me too. With Jamie, and I'm sorry to bring this up, it was always about his pleasure. He didn't really take care of me, you know. As long as he got his own release, he was content. And I didn't really complain because I didn't know anything could feel this good. With you, I get all excited when your fingers just brush me, I explained. His fingers gently touched my neck. It felt like there was electric in his touch. I pushed myself closer to him.

- I'll tell you when we have to stop although I really don't want to, he smiled.

- Yes, I remember last night. Maybe we should keep our hands to ourselves, I said and put my hands up in front of him. He laughed and shook his head. His hands slid from my neck to my breasts. I looked at him surprised. His eyes were asking for a permission. I nodded and he caressed my breasts through the fabric of my clothes. I closed my eyes and moaned. It felt really good. I had to put my hands on his shoulders. I felt his lips on my neck. My fingers gripped his shoulders and I was afraid I might hurt him. It felt like I was on fire. I opened my eyes, put my hands on his face and lifted his face to the same level with mine. I kissed him with all the passion I could conjure. I felt him press himself against me harder. It had to stop now or we wouldn't stop. I noticed he had the same thought because he pushed me away from him, kissed my forehead and walked outside to cool off.

I sat there on the purple couch panting. Woah! That had been great even if it hadn't gone any further. I didn't feel like he would have abandoned me. I knew we had to stop and he knew it too. So he stopped. I got up from the couch and walked to look myself from a mirror. My ponytail had gotten really messy so I fixed it. My lips were a little swollen from kissing but they would just have to do. I walked upstairs and made our bed. I put the diaper bag ready for Henry and chose clothes to him. Henry woke up a while later and I dressed him to a turquoise onesie and lime green pants plus turquoise socks. I walked downstairs carrying Henry and the bag and put the bag to the kitchen counter. I fed Henry and checked the clock. It was already a quarter to noon. Where did Matthew go? I dressed a white jacket and a white hat to Henry and put on my own white coat and my white UGGs. I took my back from the kitchen counter and walked outside carrying Henry. I saw Matthew sitting on the stairs ouside our house.

- Honey, aren't you cold? I asked as I sat next to him. I put my hand on his knee.

- A little, he said quietly. He looked at me and I saw tears in his eyes.

- What's wrong? I asked and hugged him to me with one arm. I kept Henry on one side so we wouldn't crush him. Matthew hugged himself tightly to me.

- I failed you, he whispered. His face was really cold.

- No, you didn't. You were great. And you knew when to stop, I said gently.

- But I almost didn't, he said.

- But you did. That's the most important thing, I smiled against his neck.

- It was really hard to stop, he said quietly.

- I know. Please go inside and put a sweater on. You're really cold, I whispered to his ear and kissed his cheek.

- Okay, he said and got up. I got up from the stairs too and talked to Henry while we waited for Matthew. Soon he came out wearing a blue sweater. He took my hand and kissed my forehead. I noticed that he had washed his face. I gave him a quick hug and kissed his cheek.

- We'll talk later, okay? I smiled and he nodded. We walked to the house next to ours and Matthew knocked on the door. Soon Zachary opened the door smiling widely.

- Hey. I'm so glad you made it, he said and kissed my cheek. He shook hands with Matthew and we entered the house. I took off my jacket and Henry's jacket and hat. Matthew left the sweater on when I gave him a stern look. He just smirked at me and took my hand. It was freezing cold.

- It was so nice for you to ask us, I smiled and Zachary led us to their dining room. It was painted brown and olive green. It looked very nice. The dining room table was full of different fruits and pancakes and muffins and juices and everything.

- Wow! This is quite a brunch, Matthew smiled.

- Well, Luke likes to cook, Zachary smiled as Luke entered the room carrying a coffee pot. They had really beatiful china.

- Hey, you're already here! Luke smiled and put the coffee pot to the table. He came to hug me and he hugged Matthew, too. We sat down to the table. Henry was in my arms.

- Do you want me to bring a blanket so you can put him to the floor? Zachary asked.

- That would be nice, I smiled back and he went to get one. He came back with a really beautiful red blanket.

- Here you go, he said as he put the blanket to the floor. He took Henry from me and put him down to the floor.

- Thank you, I smiled. Luke poured us coffee and Zachary served us pancakes. There were even fresh strawberries.

- So, what do you do for a living? Matthew asked them as we were eating. I held his hand under the table. It was warming up.

- I sell houses and Zachary has his own clothing store in downtown. I actually sold you your house, Luke told us.

- Oh, that's right. We did give our agent free hands so we didn't have to get so much involved, Matthew said. I was glad he did all the talking. I would have messed up and given away something about our past.

- I know you're a wizard with computers, Matt. But how about you Natalie? Zachary asked interested.

- I'm just a mom, I smiled.

- Don't say it like it's not a big thing. I think it's the most special thing to be, Zachary smiled at me.

- I know. I'm very proud of Henry, I smiled truthfully. I felt Matthew squeeze my hand. We ate and chatted about the neighbourhood and the town. Zachary and Luke were really nice. We found out that Luke was 26 years old and Zachary was two years younger. They had been together for five years. They had moved here two years ago when Zachary had opened his store. He had hired help so he was able to spend time away from the store if he needed to.

After we had eaten, I took Henry from the blanket and held him close to me. Luke took Matthew to the carage to show him their gym. Zachary took me to their living room and I sat down onto a pink couch. I had asked Zachary to warm a bottle I had with us for Henry and I started to feed him.

- How long have you and Matthew been married? Zachary asked me.

- A little over three years, I smiled.

- For so long? You look like you're still on the honeymoon stage, Zachary said surprised.

- In a way, I think we are. The move here did bring us closer to each other. I'm glad we moved here, I smiled.

- Me too. I've been missing a girlfriend the whole time we've lived here, Zachary smiled. He told me about his friends here and that he had been living in New York for a while before he got together with Luke. NY had been way too busy for him, he said.

- You have to come to my store. I have so many clothes that would be so your style, Zachary smiled at me as I swinged Henry in my arms. He fell asleep fast. I held him close to my body.

- That would be nice. But you have to promise that you won't tell Matthew how many clothes I have. He's already complaining about my shoe collection, I laughed. Matthew had been teasing me about the shoes a few days ago. I loved shoes and I loved having them although I hadn't bought them myself.

- I'll keep the secret if you are willing to try on some clothes so I see how they look? he smiled.

- Hey! That's blackmailing, I laughed.

- I was just kidding, he smiled.

- Well, I can try them on if you want me to. But then I'm waiting for a discount, I smiled.

- Of course girlfriend, Zachary smiled. Luke and Matthew returned a while later. Matthew sat beside me and put his arm around me. I lowered my elbow on his leg so I didn't have to keep all of Henry's weight on my arm. Matthew kissed my forehead. I noticed that Zachary was watching us. I smiled at him. Luke had gone to sit beside Zachary on the other pink couch. We sat there talking for a while. Then it was time for us to go. We agreed to see each other the next day.

When Henry was put to bed that night and we were in bed ready for the night too, I decided to ask Matthew about the earlier discussion.

- Matt, would you like to tell me why you were brought here? I asked gently. Matthew was on his back on the bed and my head was on his chest. His arm was around me and I was drawing circles with my finger to his bare chest.

- Not really but I promised you, didn't I? Well, we were suppposed to go to a concert, Stella and I. I was driving to Stella's place to pick her up. I decided to get some gas on the way so I stopped at a gas station. There was a big limousine in the parking lot. We live in LA so it's not a rare thing. I pumped the gas and went to the shop because Stella had asked me to bring her a coke on my way. So I went inside and saw a man in a suit at the cash register. He was paying for his candy. I walked to the last isle where they keep the sodas and heard someone enter the shop. Then I heard a gun shot and hid behind the shelves. The killer didn't see me but I saw him take the video tape from the security camera with him. When the killer was gone, I called the police. It turned out that the man in the suit was a some kind of a king of a drug ring. So they had to hide me. I'm the witness so I have to be alive, Matthew told me.

- But why were you in handcuffs when they brought you in? I asked.

- I was in denial and I thought I could stay home and be okay. I didn't want to come here. So they forced me to come. It turned out really well. I wouldn't have met you if I would have stayed home, he said and kissed the top of my head.

- Yeah. I'm glad you are here with me, I smiled against his skin.

- Me too, he whispered.

- What about your family? If the killer knows who you are then he'll know who they are too, right? I asked concerned.

- They' ve got protection, he just said. I decided to drop it.

- Okay, I said.

- So, now you know. What about you? Why are you here with me? he asked and his fingers caressed my back.

- As you know, Jamie cheated on me. Well, the woman was one of my colleagues, Nina. After my shift that night, Jamie came to talk to me again on the parking lot. He was really drunk and he whined at me to take him back. As he was whining, Nina came behind me and shot him dead. Nina escaped and Mandy told me later that she had been tracking Nina down for a long time. So I'm basically hiding from her, I told Matthew.

- That must have been horrible. Seeing someone you loved getting shot, Matthew said. I closed my eyes. I felt tears coming and I really didn't want to cry.

- It was really confusing. Of course I was sad and I didn't want him to die but as horrible as it sounds I really wanted to pull that trigger myself when I heard that he had cheated on me the whole time. I mean, not to kill him, just show him the pain he was causing me. I had loved him and cared for him and made him soup when he was sick and waited for him to come to me when he was probably sleeping with Nina. And I held his hand at his grandfather's deathbed and listened to all his lies and just believed them. And I always forgave him if he forgot a date. And then he goes and cheats on me. It just wasn't fair, I cried.

I felt Matthew pull me closer to him and hug me into him. I pushed my face into his neck and just cried. Matthew caressed my back with his fingers and just let me cry all the pain away. It felt really good to be his arms. Soon the tears ran out. I wiped my tears into my sleeve and Matthew kissed my shoulder.

- Thank you, I said. I kissed his neck and just inhaled his smell. He smelled good. Very manly.

- For what? he asked.

- For letting me get that out, I said against his skin. He pulled me closer and kissed me gently.

- That's why I'm here, he smiled and wiped away the last of the tears.

- Yeah right, I just laughed.

- I'll tell you again and again because you don't seem to get it. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to cheat on you. I'm not going to lie to you. I'll take care of you, he whispered and kissed me again.

- I know. I do believe you but it's just hard to actually trust that it's true. I mean, I do trust you but it's hard to get my heart to believe it, I said.

- We can take things slow. We have plenty of time to get to know each other, Matthew smiled.

- Yes, we do. I want to know everything there's to know about you, I said and kissed him right back. He turned on his back and I climbed on him. His hands roamed over my back. Kissing Matthew was phenomenal. He took his time and he was very gentle. I pulled away from the kiss and pressed my face on his shoulder and yawned.

- You just have to ask, I heard him say before I fell asleep.

**A/N: Please leave me some love :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi! This is a translated version of my Finnish story called Jumissa. I'm translating it on my own so I'm sorry for all of the spelling errors. I'm a big supporter of Joella, but it just didn't work for this story. But if you want to read about Joe and the lovely Stella, please check out my story Lovesick. You can find it in my profile. In the meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this story. Please remember that Joe is going as Matthew and Susie as Natalie in this story. **

**This is pretty much fluff and a little smut. Consider yourself warned.**

**By the way, I own just my crazy ideas.**

Time passed by and now we had been in Alaska for over four months. We had found some kind of a routine in our daily life. Matthew had built a gym to the basement of our house and he spent a few hours of every day there. It was the time everyone thought he was working.

So I had about three hours to kill every day without Matthew. I usually went for a walk with Henry and on Zachary's days off I spent time with him. We had become great friends. He was a warm and compassionate person. I hated to lie to him about my true identity but I had no choice. I couldn't tell anyone. We usually went to the park and just talked while Henry was in the swing or taking a nap in his baby carriage.

I had also become much closer to Matthew. We were still in the early stages of our physical relationship but it was only true if I said that I was deeply fond of him. I already loved Henry. I wasn't really waiting for the day we would get back to our real lifes.

Today was the five month anniversary of our stay and also my birthday. Matthew had been working out when I left the house with Henry in the afternoon. We had spent the day with Zachary. He had taken me to the store to be his personal Barbie doll again and I was wearing a new dress. It was long and had a nice floral print on it. I had a cardigan over it and a jacket. It was pretty cold so I had my white UGGs on. Henry had fell asleep on the way back. It was almost eight when we got back. Zachary drove us to his house and I walked home carrying Henry. I got inside and kicked of my shoes. It smelled like food but like it had been cooked a few hours ago. I didn't see Matthew on my way upstairs. I took Henry to his crib and walked to my walk-in closet. It was pretty full. Since Zachary and I had become friends, my closet had started to fill with clothes. I took off my jacket and the cardigan I was wearing.

- Finally decided to come home? I heard a familiar voice say. I turned around and saw Matthew leaning to the door frame.

- There you are, I smiled and walked to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his cheek. But he didn't move. Usually his arms wrapped around me as soon as I was close.

- Where were you? he asked.

- We were at the store with Zac, I told him.

- Zac? That's what you call him now? he asked sounding irritated.

- Yeah. Is there a problem with it? I asked and pulled away from him to look at him. He was angry.

- No, he just said and walked away. I could tell he was pissed off about something. I was kind of pissed at him too because it was my birthday and he was picking a fight. I'm sure he knew it because we had just been talking about it last week. I had told him that I didn't want a party. I was suppose to turn 24 and in this town we were suppose to be 25 so I was turning 26. That was confusing enough.

I pulled my hair pins away and let the curls fall around my head. I decided to try to make things better. I walked to Matthew's study where he was pacing around.

- What's the problem? I asked irritated.

- The problem? Ill tell you what the problem is. It's you. You got me twisted into this relationship and now I'm all fucked up. I can't go on a half of a day without thinking you, he shouted.

- And that's a bad thing? I asked. I felt the same way. I thought about Matthew all the time. And in ways that I wasn't suppose to think him since we weren't intimate with each other.

- Yes, it is, he said but he half-smiled. I smiled at him too.

- Are you still mad? I asked carefully. I walked to him and he kissed me hard. This wasn't really Matthew. This was an angry version of him.

- Yes. You make me so angry. You're such a tease. You tease me with your body but don't ever give in, he breathed against my skin when he pushed me against a wall.

- Just because you told me about your purity promise, I said as his hands were on my breasts. It was hard to think coherent thoughts when he was touching me like that.

- I think you were like this with your previous boyfriend too. No wonder he cheated on you, Matthew said angry. I pushed him off me, slapped him on his cheek and ran out of the house as fast as I could. I didn't have any shoes on and my arms were bare. It was freezing outside but I couldn't go back inside. I ran to Zachary's door and knocked. I was sobbing really hard when he opened.

- Honey, what's wrong? he asked and pulled me into a hug.

- Matthew, I sobbed and Zachary took me to sit on one of their livingroom couchs. I leaned on him as he tried to get me to stop sobbing.

- What did he do? Zachary asked gently.

- He said something that he really shouldn't have. I don't think he really meant it. He was just angry because I had been with you all day, I said. My sobbing was turning into little tears.

- Maybe he was jealous? Zachary offered.

- Yeah, maybe he was. But he was so angry. I haven't ever seen him so angry, I said sadly.

- If he's jealous, it just means that he loves you. And you love him, don't you? Zachary asked.

- More than anything, I said quietly. After a while I calmed down and decided that it was best if I went home. I thanked Zachary and walked back home. Zachary had insisted for me to wear his woolen socks.

I walked inside and took the socks off. I looked around for Matthew and found him from the livingroom. He was sitting in front of his piano but not playing. His face was in his palms and his elbows rested against the piano. I sat beside him and rested my head on his shoulder. I put one arm around his waist and just sat there for a while.

- I'm sorry for slapping you, I said gently.

- I'm sorry for saying that horrible thing to you. I really didn't mean it, he whispered.

- I know. Do you want to tell me what's wrong? I asked gently.

- There's nothing wrong, he said.

- I can see something is wrong. Don't you dare lie to me Joseph, I said sternly. He looked up to me from his palms. His real name did the trick.

- It's just that you're spending all your time with Zachary. I'm starting to feel like you don't want to be with me anymore, he said. I could see the hurt in his eyes. I forgot all about my stupid fears about him forgetting my birthday. I hugged him to me and this time his arms wrapped around me.

- No! Don't even say that. I just spend time with him when you are working out. I'm sorry that I was away for so long today but we kind of got carried away and didn't notice it was so late. I love spending time with you. He's just a distraction, you're a priority, I said gently and caressed his back with my fingers. I felt him relax in my arms.

- I love you Susie, he whispered. My heart melted. It was the first time he said it to me. And he used my real name. I was on seventh heaven when I pulled away to look at him.

- I love you too Joe, I smiled and kissed him gently. He pulled me to sit on his lap. I put my hands on his shoulders. It was pure love I felt in his kiss. I wanted him to feel that coming from me too so I deepened the kiss. I smiled widely when he pulled away.

- I've been waiting all day for you to come home so I can tell you, he smiled.

- Tell me again, I whispered to his ear.

- I love you, he smiled. I'm sure my grin went from one ear to another. I kissed him quickly and then caressed his cheek with my fingers.

- So, what have you done all day other than waiting to tell me that? I asked smiling.

- I made you dinner. I waited for an hour for you to come home when the dinner was ready. I had to put it away when you didn't come, he said. I glanced around and noticed that the dining table was set beautifully. There were lilies, my favourite flowers, and candles and two small gift boxes on my side of the table on the plate. I sighed.

- I'm so sorry I ruined the night, I said.

- It's not over yet. Happy birthday darling, he smiled.

- I love you so much, I smiled and kissed him before he lifted me from his lap and got up. I was so happy. He returned my feelings. I had been so close to saying the word aloud for a few months already but I had bit my tongue every time. I smiled as he walked me to the table and pulled my chair out. I sat down and he went to the kitchen to heat some food and soon he returned with a tray full of food.

- Chicken parmesan with pasta, he smiled and served me some food after I had moved the gifts away from my plate. I was anxious to open them but I decided to wait.

- Aren't you going to open them? Matthew asked.

- Lets eat first, I smiled. We ate and I told him about our day.

- Oh, you'll never guess what happened today! I said when he was taking the dishes to the kitchen.

- Tell me, he smiled as he returned.

- Henry said mama to me, I smiled with tears in my eyes. He pulled me up from my chair and hugged me close to him.

- He must have known it was your birthday, he whispered and kissed my neck.

- Can I open my gifts now? I asked. Matthew nodded and I pulled away from him. I turned around to get one of the gifts. I ripped the paper off the first one and there was a small box inside it. I turned around to look at Matthew.

- Open it, he said gently. My heart was beating really fast when I opened the box.

- Oh! I sighed as I saw the beautiful white gold ring with a little diamond on it. I looked at Matthew who was kneeling in front of me now.

- Susie, will you marry me? For real? he asked. I could see the love in his eyes.

- Yes! I smiled and knelt too. I hugged him close and felt him kiss my neck.

- I love you, he whispered.

- Oh, I love you too, I said crying for happiness. His lips moved against my skin and soon they were kissing my mouth. I kissed him with all the love I had. When the kiss broke off, Matthew took the box I was still holding and slid the ring to my finger. He put it on my right hand because I was already wearing an engagement ring and wedding band on my left hand.

- The engraving doesn't have any names on it but if you want to, we can always have it done when we go back, he smiled.

- What does it say? I asked looking at the ring. It was beautiful and it fit perfectly.

- Forever yours, he smiled. I kissed him gently.

- This was the best birthday ever, I smiled as Matthew pulled me up.

- Then I have to work really hard to top it next year, he smiled. I laughed.

- I guess you do, I smiled. We walked up to our bedroom. Matthew took my dress off and I was left to stand there in my underwear. I shivered from the cool air. He tugged me in and took his clothes off. He climbed into bed in his boxers and took me in his arms.

- Honey, I have to go brush my teeth, I smiled as he started to kiss my neck. His hands were on my breasts.

- In a minute, he said. I laughed at him. Usually his minute turned into an hour.

- Honey, I said again.

- Just a moment, he said against my skin. His lips were against my collarbone and they were moving down. I squealed from surprise when he took off my strapless bra that opened from the front and started to suck on my nipple.

- You're beautiful, he whispered against my skin. I hissed from the contact. My fingers got tangled in his hair and I pulled his up to kiss me. His fingers continued the work he had done with my nipple.

- Sweetheart, I gently whispered against his lips. He didn't stop.

- Yes, darling? he asked. His body was now on mine, his erection pushing against my wet center through the fabric of our underwear.

- You have to stop, I said gently.

- I don't want to, he panted.

- I know. But you have to, I said and tried to move away from under him. He kept me in place.

- Do you want me to stop? he asked smiling lopsided. He twisted my nipple and that made me arch my back which caused our bodies to crash against each other. Matthew pushed himself against me with force and I could tell he was very aroused.

- No, I said and kissed him passionately.

- There you have it, he smiled and twisted my nipple again. I was so close it was hard to think.

- But you still have to stop, I said.

- Do I? he asked again. He twisted my nipple one more time and I came hard. I started to scream his real name but he shut me down by kissing me hard. He hadn't come yet, I noticed from his erection still pressing to me, and I moved my hand towards his boxers. Before I got there, his hand was on my wrist stopping me. I looked at him puzzled.

- You didn't finish, I simply stated.

- I'm perfectly happy like this, he said and moved away from me. I had to respect him for his strength.

- I love you, I said as I kissed his shoulder. He was sitting on the edge of the bed. I kissed his shoulder one more time and walked to the bathroom.

I took a shower. When I was behind the shower curtain, I heard Matthew enter the bathroom and brush his teeth. When he was done, he walked back to the bedroom and closed the door. I finished my shower, brushed my teeth and braided my hair. I walked to my walk-in closet and dressed in a top and shorts set.

I walked to the bedroom and slid under the covers. Matthew wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him.

- I love you, he whispered and kissed my cheek.

- As I love you, I smiled.

- So, was it good for you? he asked referring to the earlier. I smiled against his neck.

- It was perfect, I said.

- I was thinking we could get married on Valentine's Day. No one will notice if we are gone. I asked Mandy if it was alright and she said that they would take care of everything. All we need are a couple of witnesses and a minister so they are happy to take care of that. If you want a big white wedding, we can have one when we get back to LA, he said.

- No, it's perfect if it's just you, me and Henry, I said. I didn't really have anyone else.

- Alright. I'll make the arragements then, he said happily.

- It's only a week away, I smiled. I would be married in a week. I couldn't believe it was actually happening to me.

- I know it's soon but I can't wait to call you my own, he said. I smiled.

- I'm already your own, I smiled and kissed him gently.

- But then you'll be mine forever, he said.

- I already am. Forever yours, like the ring says, I smiled.

- When did I become so lucky? he asked.

- I ask myself the same thing every day, I smiled. He kissed my forehead.

- I can't wait until we are married, he said.

- So, can I take your last name then? I asked.

- Of course. Susie Lucas, it has a nice ring to it, he said.

- Yes it does, I smiled.

- And then, when we actually are married, I don't have to stop. I'll make love to you until we both are so tired we can't move, he smiled at me. I giggled.

- Do you want to marry me just so you can have sex with me? I asked.

- No, of course not, he said quickly.

- Really? I asked.

- Really. But it's a nice bonus, he smirked. I moved away from him and I slapped his chest.

- You pig. You always have to turn it into a joke, I laughed.

- And still you love me, he said smiling the smile that always melted me.

- I do. More than you'll ever know, I smiled at him. He kissed me very gently and I pushed myself closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and drew circles to his chest. It had been waxed bare when he became Matthew but I know he had chest hair when he was Joe.

- Tell me about your brothers again, I said quietly. I loved to hear him talk about his family. They were very close, from what I could gather. I had always wanted siblings. It felt like I already knew them when he told me stories about them.

- Well, Kevin is the oldest. He might seem a little dump but he's very intelligent in his own way. And he's really funny. He is, or at least he was, single. Nick is a few years younger than me and he's very smart. He's always called the serious one. He likes to be by himself a lot. And he's the one that writes most of our songs. He's pretty much a genius. He and his girlfriend Macy just got engaged. They've been together for about three years. Macy is also Stella's best friend. And then there's Frankie. Frankie's thirteen. He's super cute and really good at playing hide and seek. And he's a little master mind. He's always begging for us to take him to the band. Maybe he's even replaced me by now, Matthew laughed.

- Do you miss them? I asked.

- Very much. But I have you so it's not that hard, he said and kissed the top of my head.

- If Kevin is the funny one, Nick the serious one and Franklin the master mind, then what that makes you? I asked looking up at him.

- The sexy one of course, he said smugly wiggling his eyebrows. I just laughed.

- I should have known that you say that, I said. He pulled me on him and looked me into my eyes.

- Don't you think I'm sexy? he asked pouting.

- Well, I don't know. I'll have to think about that, I teased him.

- Fine, he said still pouting but I could see he was putting up an act. I moved closer to him.

- I think you are the sexiest man I've ever seen. And once we are married, I'm going to show you just how sexy I think you are, I whispered to his ear. That made him kiss my shoulder. I moved back to my earlier spot on him and felt him aroused against me.

- I can't wait, he said and kissed me fiercely.

- I can see that. Do you like it when I whisper to your ear? I asked.

- You have no idea, he said. I moved again to whisper to his ear.

- I promise to kiss and suck and lick and bite every part of your body as long as you want me to, I whispered and felt him press his body harder to mine. I was actually getting aroused too. He kissed my shoulder and I moved my face close to his.

- That could be your wedding vow, he smiled and kissed me.

- Nah. I like the traditional better, I laughed and rested my head on his shoulder again.

- I'm sure the minister likes the traditional more too, he laughed.

- Are you sure you want to do this? Get married here, that is? I asked.

- Are you having cold feet? he asked.

- No! I meant that don't you want your family to be there when you get married? I asked.

- Of course I would like them to be here but it's not possible. And we have no idea how long we are going to be here. I want to marry you for real. It makes you mine and that way we'll have one less thing to lie about to our friends and neighbours, he sighed.

- I hate the lying too. Zac and I have become so good friends and it eats me up that I have to lie to him, I said.

- I know. But it's for your own protection, he said.

- I do know that. I just hate the lying part, I sighed.

- Yeah, me too. Darling, I have something to tell you, he said.

- What is it? I asked concerned and looked at him.

- I asked Mandy if it would be okay for us to adopt Henry once we are married and she said it's perfect. He has no living relatives so we can sign the papers when are getting married, he smiled. I squeeled and hugged him close to me.

- Are you serious? We get to keep him? For real? I asked happily.

- Yes, he'll be a Lucas too, he smiled. I kissed him happily.

- Can we have another child too? I asked carefully when we both had calmed down.

- We can have as many as you want, he smiled against my shoulder.

- Let's just start with two. Henry and another baby, okay? I laughed.

- Okay, he smiled and kissed my neck.

- Hey, what kind of a wedding is it? What should I wear? I asked.

- It's our kind of wedding. You can throw on a carbage bag and I still think you're the most beautiful woman in the universe, he said. He was kissing my cheek now.

- I'd prefer clothes. I'll figure something out. Maybe Zac has something white in his store, I smiled against Matthew's lips that had moved to kiss my mouth now. He kissed me passionately and rubbed my breasts with his fingers. He had slid his hand under my top. I moaned into his mouth and that made him smile.

- I love the way you react to my touch, he smiled and kissed my collarbone.

- To yours only, I smiled and tangled my fingers to his hair. He was letting it grow. It was a curly mess of ginger but I loved it. It was a part of the true him. The curls, I mean.

- Never to anyone else's, he said as he took off my top.

- Never, I promised and pulled his face to the same level with mine. I kissed him passionately and moaned again as his fingers twisted my nipples.

- You have to stop, I whispered again.

- Why? he asked but didn't stop. I was close.

- Because I'm going to come again, I whispered.

- Is that a problem? he smiled.

- Please, I said but more in pleasure than anything else. He twisted my nipple and kissed me hard as I came so he muffled all the noise. I was panting really hard as he moved his fingers away and put my top back on me.

- Would you really have wanted me to stop? he asked.

- No. But it's not any fair. You have to do all the work and I'm the only one that gets any pleasure, I panted as I pressed my face against his shoulder.

- Your pleasure is all I want. I want to see you happy. When you are happy, I am happy, he whispered.

- I'm very happy, I smiled and kissed him gently.

- Good, he smirked.

- Oh Gosh! I totally forgot the other present, I said when I remembered it and ran downstairs to get it. I returned to bed with the gift and Matthew wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me closer to him.

- Open it, he whispered to my ear. The little box was Tiffany Blue so the gift was from Tiffany's for sure. I slowly took the white ribbon from the box and opened it. Inside the box was a beautiful heart pendant neclace. It usually says _Return to Tiffany's_ but this one said _Return to Matthew. _It was so beautiful that it made me cry.

- Thank you, I smiled through my tears.

- Do you like it? Matthew asked uncertain of his present.

- I love it, I smiled and kissed his lips.

- Good. I wasn't sure you would like the engraving but glad to hear you like it, he smiled and I saw he was relieved I had liked the gift. I rested my head on his shoulder after putting the box on the nightstand. Matthew moved us to lie on the bed.

- I love you, I smiled and kissed his shoulder. I was saying it a lot tonight but the words didn't get old. I truly loved him.

- I love you too darling. Now try to get some sleep. We have a lot of planning tomorrow, he said smiling. I was already dozing off. I felt him kiss my forehead as I fell asleep.

**A/N: I know they did something although Matt/Joe has a purity ring. But they both had their pants on etc. So I don't think they crossed a line. And they are going to get married in a week. I hope this chapter didn't offend anyone. I totally respect the people wearing purity rings. I never wore any and I sure didn't stay pure until marriage. I have a living five and a half year walking prove of that and I still am not married. **

**Please leave me some love or hate :) I would like to know what you think even if it's bad. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi! This is a translated version of my Finnish story called Jumissa. I'm translating it on my own so I'm sorry for all of the spelling errors. I'm a big supporter of Joella, but it just didn't work for this story. But if you want to read about Joe and the lovely Stella, please check out my story Lovesick. You can find it in my profile. In the meanwhile, I hope you enjoy this story. Please remember that Joe is going as Matthew and Susie as Natalie in this story. **

**There is a lemon in this chapter. Consider yourself warned.**

**By the way, I own just my crazy ideas.**

When I woke up next morning, I felt happier than I had ever been. I kissed Matthew's cheek gently and got out of bed. He just rolled onto his other side and continued to sleep. I took a shower but didn't wash my hair because I had washed it last night. Then I brushed my teeth and put on a little make-up. I opened the braid I had and my hair was on beautiful waves. I walked to my closet and put on white skinny jeans with a turquoise t-shirt with long sleeves. Then I walked to Henry's room. He was awake and just watching the mobile above his bed. He did that on most mornings.

- Hello darling, I smiled as I took him from his bed.

- Mama, Henry smiled.

- Yes, baby. I'm your mama. I'm so happy we get to call you our own for real. I love you darling, I smiled as I changed his diaper and dressed him in a lime green onesie and brown pants. I took him into my arms and walked downstairs. I fed Henry and then put him to the floor to play with his toys. He could crawl already so I had to keep an eye on him. I prepared some breakfast and put the coffee to drop. Then I went to sit on the floor to play with Henry. Soon I heard footsteps coming from the stairs.

- Look Henry. Who is coming? I asked smiling. Matthew sat beside me and kissed my cheek.

- Good morning, I smiled at him.

- To you too sweetheart, Matthew smiled and put his arm around me. Henry crawled to sit on his lap.

- Dada, Henry smiled. Matthew gasped and I kissed Henry's cheek.

- You heard that too, right? Matthew asked.

- Yes, I did, I smiled.

- Daddy loves you Henry. And daddy loves mama too, Matthew said to Henry and then kissed my lips quickly. We played on the floor for a while and then we went to eat our breakfast.

Matthew cleared the table after we had eaten.

- Do you mind if I go to Zac's store today? I asked gently as he was doing the dishes. I had wrapped my arms around him from behind.

- No, of course not. I know he's just a friend, he said.

- Good. I was hoping to find a dress for the wedding. I thought I could tell Zac that we are just going on a romantic holiday to somewhere. And all I know is what to pack but you won't tell me where we are going, I said against Matthew's back.

- That sounds good. Do you want me to watch Henry while you go to the store? he asked.

- No, I 'm going to take him with me. The girls at the store adore him. You can work out while we are gone, I said and kissed his neck. He dried his hands and turned around.

- Okay. But please don't be long. I miss you already, Matthew said and pressed a kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. I pulled away after a while and went to put everything ready.

The drive to the store wasn't long and I was happy to find Zachary from behind the counter. He was talking to one of his employees, Tammi.

- Hi Natalie, Tammi smiled as she noticed me and Henry.

- Hi Tammi, I smiled. I liked her. She reminded me of my former self. She was young and beautiful but somehow she looked lost. Like she hadn't really figured out what she wanted to do with her life, yet.

- Hello Henry. Aren't you looking handsome? Tammi smiled to Henry as she took him from my arms. I smiled and went to hug Zachary.

- Hi honeybun, Zachary smiled. He always called me something sweet. But I didn't think anything of it because, well, he's gay. And I'm married. Almost.

- Hi Zac, I smiled.

- So, how did things go last night? Zachary asked concerned as we went to sit in his office. Tammi played with Henry in the store because it was a slow day. They have an internet store so most of their income come from it.

- It went great. Well, not the first part. But after I went home, we talked things through. He was jealous of me spending so much time with you. I think it's silly because he has to work so I don't want to be in his way. And I get bored without anything to do, I told him.

- You know, the offer still stands. You always have a job here, Zachary said. He had offered me a job a few monts back when I had complained that I didn't have anything to do around the house when Matthew was working.

- I know and I thank you for the offer but I really want to spend my days with Henry. He's growing so fast and I don't want to miss anything, I said. That was partly because I had missed the first four months.

- So, tell me more about last night. Every last dirty detail, Zachary said smiling.

- Yeah right. Well, he had cooked me dinner so we ate after he reheated it and then he gave me this, I smiled as I showed him the ring.

- Wow. Tiffany's. The man must really love you, Zachary said.

- I love him too, I smiled.

- You have to be a match made in Heaven. So, was this just a social call? Although I'm very happy to see you, Zachary said quickly after his question.

- I actually need some clothes. Matthew is taking me to a romantic mini-break on Valentine's Day. Well, were are taking Henry with us so I need something comfortable too, I smiled excited.

- You're turning into my best paying customer, Zachary laughed.

- I know. But isn't that a good thing? I laughed with him as we walked back to the store.

- Of course. So, how long are you going to be away? Zachary asked.

- Three days. Matt said I need a dress for something special. I was thinking white, I smiled.

- I have just the perfect dress. I was kind of keeping it for you if you would need it, Zachary winked and disappeared to the storage room. I watched Tammi and Henry. Tammi loved kids, that was obvious. A while later Zachary returned. He was holding a long white dress with a halterneck. It was very flowy and light.

- Oh Gosh Zac. This is perfect! I almost screamed as I hugged him. He knew me so well. This was the kind of dress I would have picked even as Susie.

- I know. So let's get you some more clothes. And you're going to need some new lingerie, Zachary winked. I blushed. He thought me and Matthew had a very active sex life when the truth was that we hadn't even had sex yet. I was kind of looking forward to our wedding night. It wasn't that easy to keep my hands to myself all the time when I was with Matthew.

We spent a few hours looking for the perfect clothes and when we were ready, both Tammi and Zachary carried the bags to my trunk. We said our goodbyes and I put Henry to his car seat. I drove home. When I got out of the car, I saw Matthew talking to Nancy in front of her house. I took Henry from his seat and locked the car. I was just about to step away from our yard when James came to stand in front of me.

- Hello Natalie, James said. He gave me the creeps every time I talked to him.

- Hello James, I smiled as politely as I could.

- Have you been shopping again? he asked pointing to my trunk. The bags were visible through the window.

- Yes, I have. Zachary had some new things I loved, I smiled. I tried to get Matthew to come to my rescue but he was too tangled in his conversation with Nancy to see my distress. I really didn't like talking to James.

- Well, I can't wait to see them on you. Especially those lacy underwear that are in that little bag, he whispered. I could feel his hot breath on my skin when he leaned closer. I shuddered all over from disgust. Finally Matthew saw us and jogged to us.

- Hello James. Hi darling, Matthew said wrapping his arm around me and kissing my lips. He was telling James to back off.

- Hello Matthew. You should keep your wife from shopping too much, James said and turned to walk away. I relaxed in Matthew's arms instantly.

- I really don't like him. He said he couldn't wait to see me in my underwear, I whispered to Matthew's ear. I could feel him tense.

- He said that? he asked and I nodded. Matthew's hands were tightly around me.

- Don't worry, love. You're safe with me, Matthew said kissing my temple.

- I know, I said smiling and pulled away. Henry was getting restless in my arms. It was time for his afternoon nap. I opened the trunk and took one bag. Matthew took the seven others and closed the trunk.

- I thought you were suppose to buy just one dress, he laughed.

- I got a little carried away, I smiled.

- I can see that, he smiled.

- Don't worry. I'm sure you'll like the clothes too, I winked and saw him freeze for a moment. I laughed as I opened the front door and stepped inside. Matthew carried the bags inside as I took Henry to his crib. I heard Matthew walk to my closet.

When Henry was asleep, I walked to my closet only to find Matthew going through the little bag with the underwear.

- Hey! You're not supposed to go through my things, I said faking to be angry. I snatched the bag away from him.

- Sorry. I just took a peak, he said grinning.

- You didn't look at the rest of the bags, right? I asked. I wanted to keep the wedding dress as a surprise.

- No, I didn't, he said as I put the bag down to the ottoman.

- Good, I smiled and stepped closer to him. His hands went around my waist and I started to massage his scalp.

- I can't wait to see you in those. Especially in the white ones, Matthew whispered. I smiled.

- You'll just have to wait. Just a few more days and we'll be married for real. I can't believe my luck, I smiled.

- I can, he teased.

- Haha, I laughed at him.

- I'm quite a catch, aren't I? he asked still teasing me.

- Yes, you are. I just don't understand how you could ever really want me, I said looking over his shoulder. His hands were instantly on my cheeks and he looked into my eyes.

- You are the most beautiful, sweetest and caring person I've ever met. I love you, he said and kissed me.

- I love you too, I whispered and kissed him back. He hugged me tightly and I let him squeeze all my worries away.

The few days went really fast. We packed our bags and left early on Friday morning. We drove to the airport and there was private plane waiting for us. It took us to Juneau. There we checked into a hotel. We had a bodyguard with us the whole time. His room was next to ours. We went sightseeing that day and ate in the hotel's restaurant. It was really nice. I had booked another room for the night because I wanted to be traditional and not see the groom on the morning of the wedding. We also had a nanny for Saturday so we could get ready in peace and then spend the wedding night without interruptions.

When Saturday arrived, I was anxious. I hadn't been sleeping that well because I was used to sleeping with Joe ( I had decide to call him Joe this weekend because it was actually Susie and Joe getting married). I tried to do everything slowly so time would go faster. I did my own make-up. I put on the new white lingerie and the white dress. I curled my hair a little and put on white pumps. I was ready way before I had to be and I was getting very nervous. I tried to practise my words. I knew there wouldn't be anyone we know but I was still really nervous. What if he wouldn't want me after all?

When the time came and the nanny, Laura, knocked on my door, I was in full panic-mode.

- Are you ready to go? she asked.

- Yeah, I think so, I smiled and took a look at Henry. He was sleeping in his baby carriage. He was wearing a black tuxedo and a turquoise bow on his neck. He looked adorable.

- Let's go then. I think someone is waiting for us, Laura smiled. I smiled nervously back at her as we walked to the elevator. It took us to the main floor. The place where the ceremony was held, was at the main floor of the hotel. Laura opened the door and soft music echoed through the room. I saw Joe waiting for me at the altar. Laura walked to the corner with the baby carriage and I walked to Joe. He took my hands in his.

The minister spoke and when it was time to say our wows, I went first. I smiled as I started to say my vow. We had agreed to keep them very simple. Mine was a poem by James J. Walker.

- Will you love me in December as you love me in May,

Will you love me in the good old fashioned way?

When my hair is all turned gray,

Will you kiss me then and say,

That you love me in December as you do in May?, I said smiling.

Joe nodded and then the minister told him it was his turn.

- When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew, Joe quoted Shakespeare. I smiled at the simplicity and the truth behind the words. The minister spoke again and after the switching of the rings, he told Joe to kiss me. And he did. His lips were on mine the second the minister said the words and he kissed me gently. I felt how he had missed me. We signed the adoption papers and went for a dinner with Henry, Laura and the bodyguard.

After the dinner Laura took Henry to my room and Joe took me to his. When the door closed, he took his jacket off and threw it to the floor. I laughed at him as I kicked off my pumps. Joe took me in his arms and launched us to the bed. He kissed me passionately and let his hands wonder around my body. I unbuttoned his shirt but he left it on. I unbuttoned his pants and tried to push them down as he was kissing my neck. After a while, I finally managed to get rid of them. There were only his boxers on my way now. I put my hand on the waistband of his boxers but Joe took my hands and pulled them away. I looked at him puzzled.

- Not fair. I'm almost naked and you're still fully dressed, he said as he let go of my hands and pushed his hands under my dress. He pulled my panties away and soon he was kissing his way up my legs nearer my centre. I sighed as I felt his lips on me. I couldn't believe he was doing that. He was a virgin and he was taking care of my pleasure first. And I know he hadn't done anything like this before but still it seemed like he knew just when and where to lick and twist and suck so I would scream louder. The man was perfect. I had built up this orgasm a long time so it wasn't long before I came. Joe had a satisfied smile on his face when he got up and wiped his face on his sleeve. He threw his shirt on the floor and got up to stand. He took my hands in his and pulled me up from the bed. My knees buckled because I was still weak from the force of the orgasm. Joe wrapped his arms around me and held me up. Our bodies were touching everywhere and I could feel his erection against me. He was really big. The realizion made my knees buckle again.

- Are you alright, sweetheart? Joe laughed and kissed my cheek.

- Just amazed by you, I smiled and kissed him. I felt his fingers on the buttons of my dress. He unbuttoned them and I lifted my arms above my head. He kept one arm around me and lifted the dress over my head with the other. When he was done, I opened the hooks of my bra and threw them on the floor. I was fully naked now. I had been sure that I would feel insecure that moment but somehow I didn't. Joe made me feel beautiful.

- You're incredibly beautiful, Joe whispered as he lay me down to the bed.

- Thank you, I smiled. He had seen me without my bra before but this was the first time I was actually naked in front of him. He took off his boxers and I just had to admire him as he stood there beside the bed. He was perfect. And really big. It was going to hurt.

- See something you like? Joe wiggled his eyebrows just like he did on our first night in Alaska.

- Yes, I smiled and took his hand. I pulled him to the bed and he came to lie on top of me, holding himself up so he wouldn't crush me with his weight.

- Are you sure about this? Joe asked me gently after a kiss.

- I'm sure. I love you and I want this, I smiled and moved my hands on his body. He pressed his erection between my legs. It was really going to hurt.

- Oh my God! I totally forgot. We should have protection, Joe huffed and started to get up from the bed. I stopped him before he moved almost at all by putting my hands on his cheeks.

- Stop. I'm clean and I'm sure you're too. If I come pregnant from this, the baby will be a creation of our love. And I don't mind that. I remember you saying that you're ready to have a baby with me. So I don't want to use any kind of protection if you don't, I smiled at him. He looked at me amazed for a minute and then he kissed me passionately. I felt him press himself closer to me and I guided him in. He was so big that I had to relax my muscles and it still hurt a little. But I'm sure I would adjust to his size as we would make love more. Joe was watching me as he pushed himself all the way in. He was also pretty long. I felt a tear on my cheek.

- Did I hurt you? Sweetheart, are you okay? Joe asked worried. He started to pull himself out but I put my hands on his hips and didn't let him move.

- I'll be fine. Just don't move. I just have to adjust to your size, I smiled at him.

- Am I that big? he smirked and raised an eyebrow.

- Yes, you kind of are. Okay, you can move now, I smiled at him. I lifted my legs and logged them around his waist. It made him go even deeper. I knew it wouldn't last very long because it was his first time so I wasn't surprised when he came way before I was ready. I knew he was happy and I had had my orgasm already once this evening. Joe dropped on me when he came but turned us so that he wouldn't crush me. I caressed his cheeks with my fingers as he gathered himself. He had this goofy grin on his face that made me laugh.

- What's so funny? he asked.

- You look like you just got laid, I laughed.

- I just did and it was amazing, he laughed and kissed me. I continued to kiss him as I felt him pull out of me.

- Could we take a bath before we go to sleep? I asked gently a little later.

- I'd love that, he smiled and got up. He walked to the bathroom and I heard him turn the water on. A little later he came to pick me up from the bed.

- Come on Mrs Lucas, let's go to take a bath, he winked and carried me to the bath tub. He came in to the tub with me and gently washed my skin. I enjoyed every second of it.

After the bath, Joe toweled me and himself and carried me to the bedroom. We put on some underwear and went to bed.

- I love you Joe, I whispered to him as we lay on the bed under the sheets.

- I love you Susie, he whispered kissing my neck. I felt his arms around me and I was home. All my life I had been looking for something and this was it. This was were I belonged. This was home.

**A/N: It's been a long time since my last update. I'm so sorry about it. My life's been hectic and there just haven't been time to update. **

**Please leave me some love or hate :) I would like to know what you think even if it's bad.**


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